They don't have to look like clubbers, or wanna-be clubbers.
They just have to look like they're much younger than us.
And remember: for every restaurant that repels us because of the noise level, there are more that repel them because of perceived staidness.
Don't get me wrong. We don't do anything that even approaches staid. That was the original gist of this thread. And we are always the oldest table anywhere we book, but no one seems to care. Average age in the places we haunt is, I would guess, 35. And all have some kind of music, mostly soft jazz or retro American pop. But not at wall-throbbing volume.
No no no. My point is that what seems strikingly casual and unstuffy to us seems staid to them (and they'd think 35 is kind of old) -- because it isn't like a party.