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Rating Chain Pizzas

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#1 joechartreuse

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Posted 07 November 2018 - 08:26 AM

          Yes, I realize that rating chain pizzas is something like choosing a favorite bug spray, but no one has been posting anyway and I'm the mood for fun.

          Please keep in mind that when rating from best to worst, we are only making comparisons with other chain pizzas, and everyone understands that they are not in anywhere near the same league as our favorite fresh pizza shops.

   Here I go:

       I start with Pizza Hut at number one.  Unlike Domino's "easy bake" oven, they can make my pizza well done, and the crust isn't too bad at all.   Their only problem is that if you call in a lunch order for pick-up, they still won't start cooking it until you get there.

       Domino's is number two only because I like their BBQ chicken pizza, and every once in a while they come up with something unique to try.  

        I have never tried CeCe's or Little Ceasars, but still put them in the next to positions because:


    At the bottom:   Papa John's is the ONLY pizza I have ever tried of ANY type- including frozen-  that was completely inedible.  I have tried them from 3 different locations.  A sloppy mess of horrendous flavors- Never more than one bite.

     These are the only chain pizzas that I have heard of in my area.  Feel free to add any that may be from anywhere in the US.


    And......go.....


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#2 Daniel

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Posted 07 November 2018 - 02:16 PM

i have only been the Pizza Hut and Domino's in recent years and maybe Papa John's once or twice in college.  I remember Papa John's serving hot butter with their pizza?  I remember it being disgusting and even as a kid, one who would eat truckstoppers out of a 7-11 microwave, I still had standards when it came to pizza. 

 

I really want to go to Caesar's just to check it off my list.. CeCe's is the buffet place?  I have heard it's an absolute nightmare. 

 

I think I ordered from either Domino's or Pizza Hut when I was in vegas a few years ago at a convention hall.. Being stuck with a staff that was half vegetarian and half unadventurous, i ordered from the internet and it was convenient.. 

 

The closest I get to fast food pizza is once a year I will buy a box of Elio's pizza or a box of stouffers french bread.. I usually burn the shit out of them and cover in tabasco sauce.  I like the curry spice at the back end of Elio's and you can get it crunchy.  But I usually have either a frozen pie of Santillo's or some other really good jersey pizza place wrapped in foil in my work and home freezer.   I think i brooklyn I have best pizza and pauli g and in jersey I have Santillo's and a Pauli G

 

I don't know where you live Joe but, there is so much good and cheap and fast pizza all over the country, I personally don't see a need for that kind of pizza and never had experienced it as a child so, there is no real nostalgia for me the way there is in a Stouffer's pizza or something.. This was my substitute when I was allowed to pick something out at the grocery store for when my parents left me with the babysitter on a saturday night. 

 

Pizza hut, as cool as it looked when I drove by, my parents never stopped.. Once, with my grandmother in rural Pennsylvania we went, it had to be 30 years ago or more, i hated it.  


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#3 hollywood

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Posted 07 November 2018 - 04:32 PM

And now another of those it was better in the old days before you kids came along posts.....

IIRC, Pizza Hut began in the Dallas area.  I had it in Arlington.  They actually made real pizza that you had to wait for a while while it baked (not this quicky stuff they have now).  They had choices of toppings and the toppings were decent.  And they sold beer and soda in very large chilled goblets.  Alas.


Then that happened.

 

I traveled to Tijuana to smack the federali

Who packing avocado toast like Mario Batali--Black Thought


#4 joethefoodie

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Posted 07 November 2018 - 09:32 PM

Is the chain Sbarro's a chain that counts?



#5 joechartreuse

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 08:06 AM

i have only been the Pizza Hut and Domino's in recent years and maybe Papa John's once or twice in college.  I remember Papa John's serving hot butter with their pizza?  I remember it being disgusting and even as a kid, one who would eat truckstoppers out of a 7-11 microwave, I still had standards when it came to pizza. 

 

I really want to go to Caesar's just to check it off my list.. CeCe's is the buffet place?  I have heard it's an absolute nightmare. 

 

I think I ordered from either Domino's or Pizza Hut when I was in vegas a few years ago at a convention hall.. Being stuck with a staff that was half vegetarian and half unadventurous, i ordered from the internet and it was convenient.. 

 

The closest I get to fast food pizza is once a year I will buy a box of Elio's pizza or a box of stouffers french bread.. I usually burn the shit out of them and cover in tabasco sauce.  I like the curry spice at the back end of Elio's and you can get it crunchy.  But I usually have either a frozen pie of Santillo's or some other really good jersey pizza place wrapped in foil in my work and home freezer.   I think i brooklyn I have best pizza and pauli g and in jersey I have Santillo's and a Pauli G

 

I don't know where you live Joe but, there is so much good and cheap and fast pizza all over the country, I personally don't see a need for that kind of pizza and never had experienced it as a child so, there is no real nostalgia for me the way there is in a Stouffer's pizza or something.. This was my substitute when I was allowed to pick something out at the grocery store for when my parents left me with the babysitter on a saturday night. 

 

Pizza hut, as cool as it looked when I drove by, my parents never stopped.. Once, with my grandmother in rural Pennsylvania we went, it had to be 30 years ago or more, i hated it.  

   Daniel, I'm from NJ, where Pizza was actually INVENTED  ( Look it up).  I have great pizza all around me.  However, not at all times.  Sometimes I'm either I'm up too late  ( note the time I'm posting this)  or am in to much of a hurry to wait for the good stuff. Then it's chain.     

  This thread is not supposed to be a comparison to fresh parlor pizza- it's just a fun look at chains.   PS:  A Frozen Pizza rating for you:  I used to go for the Ellio's you mentioned, but you should try Stop & Shop Self-Rising.  Of course, both have to be "doctored".


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#6 joechartreuse

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 08:08 AM

Is the chain Sbarro's a chain that counts?

  f it's a chain, it counts- but you must rate it in comparison to other chains.


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#7 joechartreuse

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 08:09 AM

Is the chain Sbarro's a chain that counts?

 

And now another of those it was better in the old days before you kids came along posts.....

IIRC, Pizza Hut began in the Dallas area.  I had it in Arlington.  They actually made real pizza that you had to wait for a while while it baked (not this quicky stuff they have now).  They had choices of toppings and the toppings were decent.  And they sold beer and soda in very large chilled goblets.  Alas.

 

 

  OK, That's Pizza Hut.  Can you rate it and other chains in order?


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#8 Orik

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 01:14 PM

Everyone owes themselves an order of Pizza-la - especially one of their mayo topped pies. It will make every chain seem like it's almost actual pizza. 

 

https://www.google.c...HeAyCeMQBQhBKAA

 

My rating (ordered by importance of character, not lexicographically):

 

ζ Pizza Chain

 

Ⴎ Pizza Chain

 

ג Unsubstantiated claims about the origins of dishes. 


sandwiches that are large and filling and do not contain tuna or prawns

#9 Daniel

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 02:03 PM

 

   Daniel, I'm from NJ, where Pizza was actually INVENTED  ( Look it up).

 

I have and while NJ is one of the first, I have never seen it called the actual first. 


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#10 Rich

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 02:19 PM

So, New Jersey has ingredients???



#11 Anthony Bonner

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 02:42 PM

where are we on Zume

 


"This is a battle of who blinks first, and we've cut off our eyelids"


#12 hollywood

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 11:31 PM

 

Is the chain Sbarro's a chain that counts?

 

And now another of those it was better in the old days before you kids came along posts.....

IIRC, Pizza Hut began in the Dallas area.  I had it in Arlington.  They actually made real pizza that you had to wait for a while while it baked (not this quicky stuff they have now).  They had choices of toppings and the toppings were decent.  And they sold beer and soda in very large chilled goblets.  Alas.

 

 

  OK, That's Pizza Hut.  Can you rate it and other chains in order?

 

I'd rate Pizza Hut, Domino's and Papa John's at the bottom.  Sbarro would be above them.  Above it would be California Pizza Kitchen, Costco and above them would be Wolfgang Puck Express.

CPK has declined a lot from the days it was owned by a couple of attorneys.


Then that happened.

 

I traveled to Tijuana to smack the federali

Who packing avocado toast like Mario Batali--Black Thought


#13 Neocon maudit

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Posted 09 November 2018 - 04:00 AM

I was obsessed with Pizza Hut as a child. For lack of a babysitter, my parents once brought me to what I in adult life recognise was probably a relatively hip deep-dish pizza joint in Chicago, and I threw a tantrium because it wasn't Pizza Hut. Though in truth, it may have been the arcade games in the reception/waiting area that won Pizza Hut my affection. I'm fairly confident Pizza Hut, like KFC, was markedly better in my youth.

 

Ate Papa John's almost every night when I was at Camp Geiger. A Marine sergeant would go buy a carful of pizzas from Papa John's and then sell them at marked up prices to those of us trapped on base. I didn't pay for any of the pizzas myself, but there were always so many leftover slices, there was plenty to go around.

 

I'm not sure I'm capable of comparing Domino's before and after they came to Jesus: I don't remember what it tasted like before, and I've had it only three times since.  At Gen Con this summer, the children of a 1 per cent friend, who regularly eat much more sophisticated food than I do, decided they must have Domino's [I don't think they'd ever had it before, but they'd watched the commercials?].  So we had some delivered to our hotel.  The sauce was very sweet.  That was a low moment.

 

I honestly don't know which of these pizzas is least worst [though I think Sbarro's crust is inedible and weirdly cakelike and puffy]. It does seem to me that mass-chain pizzas [which often seem to hail from the Midwest?] generally aren't great as pizza, but serve really as platforms for toppings. I seem to be able to stomach the pizzas with more toppings, regardless of the particular brand.

 

Very much enjoyed Pizzeria Uno as a teenager, generally the Numero Uno® [see my comment about more toppings above].  During high school my friends and I once drove east->west across the waist of New Jersey to dine at the nearest Uno.  That was a pretty wild and crazy thing for some future meritocrats to do on a school night.  Later I ate at least twice a month at the H Square Uno owing to their supercheap lunch special.

 

Oh that reminds me, Bertucci's wasn't half bad. We used to go to the H Square location when we had large parties.

 

When it first opened in Brick City, I ate Blaze Pizza nearly every week.  I'm not sure what they serve is actually pizza, but it was nice to get sort of fresh ingredients in Newark.  I liked their goat cheese and beetroot salad.

 

I guess Bertucci's probably had the most edible chain pizza, then Blaze, then everyone else sort of clustered round the bottom. Make sure to order lots of toppings.



#14 Daniel

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Posted 09 November 2018 - 04:02 PM

I grew up next to Vinnie's Pizza .. Vinnie's opened July 7th, 1976 which is my exact birthday... I could walk there.. Some of my earliest memories was eating a half a slice of pizza with my mother sitting at the red booths with the paneled walls.. We would then walk to my kindergarten as I was going the half day afternoon session.. Vinny worked there with one other guy... He loved me, was so nice to me.. I could walk there.. I would walk there or ride my bike.. When I was in high school, I delivered pizza there, for 2 bucks you would get two slices and a small fountain drink, which was the lunch special.. A number three sub, is the same sub on pretty much every menu in NJ.. if you come to my place, our sub is a number three, fancied up a bit.. 

 

The year I was working there, vinny sold his business and opened a place called Maria's, named after his wife.. The new guy, his name was Kareem.. He was a nice enough guy, he legally changed his name to Vincent (Last name redacted)... So his name is Vinny now.. every few years, he gets arrested for being a bookie... But, he still is working there... I still see both Vinnys.


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#15 hollywood

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Posted 09 November 2018 - 07:19 PM

Forgot about Blaze.  Seems more llike flatbread than pizza.


Then that happened.

 

I traveled to Tijuana to smack the federali

Who packing avocado toast like Mario Batali--Black Thought