17 replies to this topic

[Carolyn Tillie]

In just a few days here:

* Breakfast establishments don't open until 8:00 or 9:00 because everyone stays up until 3:00 or 4:00.
* Same as above, but for dinner - you can't go to a retaurant much before 7:00 p.m.
* 80% of the radio advertising is selling plastic surgery.
* The female mannequins have DD breasts and 18-inch waists (probably from the afore-mentioned plastic surgery.
* All of the high-end clothing stores (Bennetton, Marc Jacobs, etc.) are trying to sell winter wear; scarves, sweaters, etc. I presume it is because their customers need to travel north and can't possibly buy those types of clothes when they get to where they will be needing such things.
* The bank thermometers always read 75 degrees. At 7:00 in the morning (when not even the Starbucks are open!) or at midnight (when everything is open). I'm sure it has been in the mid-80s.

I'm sure there is more, but that is what is striking me now, as I wait to get into the *next* big gig.



Whatever.

[Carolyn Tillie]

Here's a few more:

* There is this roving Haunakah Mobile, mounted with a Mennorah, blasting Klezmer music.
* It is okay to wander the streets with open alcohol containers.

[Carolyn Tillie]

This one's got me...

* THREE plus HOURS in a disco, waiting for Moby to go on - who knew 300 to 400 people could dance frenetically for over three solid hours AND chain-smoke at the same time? Both astonishing and disgusting!

[hollywood]

This one's got me...

* THREE plus HOURS in a disco, waiting for Moby to go on - who knew 300 to 400 people could dance frenetically for over three solid hours AND chain-smoke at the same time? Both astonishing and disgusting!

So how was the Mobester? I know an East Coaster who gets mistaken for Moby. Only problem is he has no musical talent.

[Carolyn Tillie]

This one's got me...

* THREE plus HOURS in a disco, waiting for Moby to go on - who knew 300 to 400 people could dance frenetically for over three solid hours AND chain-smoke at the same time? Both astonishing and disgusting!

So how was the Mobester? I know an East Coaster who gets mistaken for Moby. Only problem is he has no musical talent.

Truthfully, I was pretty bored (or maybe I have officially just gotten too old). I saw him a decade or so ago and thought he was better then. I left about 45 minutes into his set...

[hollywood]

This one's got me...

* THREE plus HOURS in a disco, waiting for Moby to go on - who knew 300 to 400 people could dance frenetically for over three solid hours AND chain-smoke at the same time? Both astonishing and disgusting!

So how was the Mobester? I know an East Coaster who gets mistaken for Moby. Only problem is he has no musical talent.

Truthfully, I was pretty bored (or maybe I have officially just gotten too old). I saw him a decade or so ago and thought he was better then. I left about 45 minutes into his set...

Perhaps too worldly wise.

[Ron Johnson]

I found a Cuban place that serves breakfast 24/7 so I could always get something to eat before 9 am. I also enjoyed the fact that no one goes out to eat until 9 pm or later because there were scads of open tables at 7:30 and 8 pm.

[9lives]

I found a Cuban place that serves breakfast 24/7 so I could always get something to eat before 9 am. I also enjoyed the fact that no one goes out to eat until 9 pm or later because there were scads of open tables at 7:30 and 8 pm.

Puerta Sagua maybe? We'll be hitting them this weekend.

[SethG]

Here's a few more:

* There is this roving Haunakah Mobile, mounted with a Mennorah, blasting Klezmer music.

We have that in my section of Brooklyn. I have heard them blasting away as late as 11:00 p.m.

[Carolyn Tillie]

I found a Cuban place that serves breakfast 24/7 so I could always get something to eat before 9 am. I also enjoyed the fact that no one goes out to eat until 9 pm or later because there were scads of open tables at 7:30 and 8 pm.

Puerta Sagua maybe? We'll be hitting them this weekend.

I went to Puerta Sagua for lunch one day and was quite pleased. I am literally packing to leave Miami right now and while I'm sitting in the airport in a few hours, will be re-capping all of my dining experiences so check back.

[Adrian]

This thread actually exists. That's awesome, because it's pretty much what I was going to title this thread. I'm gonna stick mostly to the food, though. You want (more) nightlife observations here? Not gonna get them here unless you ask because I don't think that's what you guys want. What you want is an brief account into the fast, fancy world of Miami's most cynical restaurant ventures. You're going to get nothing - absolutely nothing - here about great Cuban food or quirky hipster joints or third wave coffee. AB and Orik are going to enjoy this one. Capitalism baby, love it.

Because Danny Meyer sure does. Yup, Shake Shack Miami beach is stop number one. And, because I'm, like, totally "in the know", I bring it off menu and go with a double shack stack (two patties and one of those fried portabello, um, patties). Hoot away guys, it tastes good. I wash it down with a key lime pie concrete. Danny counts his cash.

And if Danny can count his cash, so can Andrew. Yes, there's a The Dutch down here as well. The problem with you New Yorkers is that you aren't cynical enough. You expect The Dutch in NY to be all good and stuff when its really proof of concept for Carmellini's New American Empire. See it? The Dutch Vegas! The Dutch Abu Dhabi! All will have the requisite cutesy website, expensive Downtown New York design, and highly executable menu. Expensive bottles of wine will be purchased. Oh, the food? My soft shell crab sandwich was quite nice actually, nice and spicy, lightly fried, the bun sucked, though. And the chipotle scallion corn bread was tasty, maybe a touch sweet and a touch dry but nice and warm. The fries were lame as was the coffee. I mean, just because it's cynical doesn't mean that it isn't mostly tasty.

And to thank for all this? The big tuna - Nobu. It's like, so brilliant. You build the heck out of the place, pump the tunes, create this faux-healthy Japanese cuisine*, and, this is the big one, make everything taste louder than the music so that's it's really delicious but in a very limited way. And it's the same everywhere because there's no real cooking. One key is that you can't actually taste much fish. You all know that the yellow tail and jalepeno is all acid and spice and the miso black cod is sweet and (I'll say it) unctuous and, yes, really delicious but totally designed to mask the fish and hit us in a very base, basic way. Tuna salad, rock shrimp, tuna tacos - spicy mayo!!! - are much the same. Creamy sauce with spice or acid sauce with spice is the recipe. This is ball-peen hammer cuisine. Once the kitchen starts actually cooking there's a drop-off. Pork belly is dry, gyoza's with ground wagyu beef (ugh) wouldn't pass muster at an average Toronto ramen bar, upselling is constant but, in all fairness, very well done. Anyway, it's the same everywhere and everyone wants to do this because then you get to hang out with De Niro and Jigga and make oodles. It's brutal, coarse, and cynical food. It's kind of brilliant, really.

* Oh, it's so light and healthy and clean but really it's rice and sugar and fried and served with spicy mayo.

[Orik]

The problem with you New Yorkers is that you aren't cynical enough. You expect The Dutch in NY to be all good and stuff when its really proof of concept for Carmellini's New American Empire. See it? The Dutch Vegas! The Dutch Abu Dhabi!

Ahem...

Posted 18 July 2011 - 08:10 AM

The good news for the investors is that the place can be taken as is and cloned in any major city in the middle of the country. It'll work as there's nothing scary on the menu. Some of the touches like that corn "bread" are already part of the mid-high casual genre in the midwest. For example this is a very conceptually similar restaurant:

http://www.redstoneg...pdfs/Dinner.pdf

That's where the good news end.

[Adrian]

The problem with you New Yorkers is that you aren't cynical enough. You expect The Dutch in NY to be all good and stuff when its really proof of concept for Carmellini's New American Empire. See it? The Dutch Vegas! The Dutch Abu Dhabi!

Ahem...

Posted 18 July 2011 - 08:10 AM

The good news for the investors is that the place can be taken as is and cloned in any major city in the middle of the country. It'll work as there's nothing scary on the menu. Some of the touches like that corn "bread" are already part of the mid-high casual genre in the midwest. For example this is a very conceptually similar restaurant:

http://www.redstoneg...pdfs/Dinner.pdf

That's where the good news end.

I apologize. You are sufficiently cynical.

[Suzanne F]

Never question Orik's cynicism. Question his grasp of geography, his understanding of how anything outside of the intersection and finance works, question his knowledge of the hoi polloi, but never, ever question his cynicism.

[Orik]

Never question Orik's cynicism. Question his grasp of geography, his understanding of how anything outside of the intersection and finance works, question his knowledge of the hoi polloi, but never, ever question his cynicism.

The erroneous stickler strikes again.

eta: it occurred to me that in your increasingly insufferable behavior towards various members of the board you may be trying to get yourself kicked off (it's happened in the past that members who'd long lost any interest thought this would somehow be an easier way out than to simply stop posting), but you can really just go do something more interesting or maybe lead an archaeological expedition into your freezer.