67 replies to this topic

[yvonne johnson]

A piece by Lisa Belkin in the NYT reports on a study of the attitudes of 400 sets of parents towards their children. 70% of fathers and 65% of mothers expressed a preference for one child, usually the oldest.

I've seen this played out in my extended family, often with disastrous results.

I'm an only child, so can't really speak from personal experience.

What I do find odd is Belkin's arguing the point over "all" versus "the majority". Just b/c not all parents report favoritism, it seems she thinks this negates the results of the study.

[yvonne johnson]

mongo?

[SLBunge]

Why is that in the Style section?

[yvonne johnson]

Because the NYT is a family newspaper and they'd rather believe the results of the study were fadish.

[Wilfrid]

I've never thought about this very seriously, but it would amaze me if parents didn't have a preference. It's surely only human.

It's quite different from despising a child. Also, I can easily imagine preference changing.

Another perspective: anyone here didn't have a preferred parent?

[mitchells]

I've never thought about this very seriously, but it would amaze me if parents didn't have a preference. It's surely only human.

It's quite different from despising a child. Also, I can easily imagine preference changing.

Another perspective: anyone here didn't have a preferred parent?

I equally despise my parents.

[yvonne johnson]

I've never thought about this very seriously, but it would amaze me if parents didn't have a preference. It's surely only human.

It's quite different from despising a child. Also, I can easily imagine preference changing.

Another perspective: anyone here didn't have a preferred parent?

I equally despise my parents.

Are you British deep down?

[foodie52]

I have more in common with my 31 year old son than with my 27 year old daughter, which means we have more to talk about, so I enjoy spending time with him more than with my daughter right now. He sailed through his teenage years, whereas my daughter had lots of angst and was exhausting to be around.

The word "favorite" is so....difficult. I mean, I don't have a favorite food: it depends on what I'm in the mood for.

The bottom line is, if I had to choose whether to have my son or my daughters killed, I'd have to beg to be slaughtered instead of any of them. There are no favorites in that respect.

[mongo_jones]

mongo?

i do like alu the best.

[Sneakeater]

I'm an only child, so can't really speak from personal experience.

If you're an only child and not your parents' favorite, that would seem to me to be disastrous.

[Wilfrid]

I can turn my question around. Did anyone (with two parents) like their parents equally?

It would seem to me almost unnatural to automatically like your children equally. It almost denies their individuality.

[SLBunge]

I've never thought about this very seriously, but it would amaze me if parents didn't have a preference. It's surely only human.

I would agree with this.

I would also think that there is a good chance that each parent prefers a different child. And the preferences change.

[Stone]

mongo?

i do like alu the best.

I'd have guessed Rancho.

[Sneakeater]

I thought Rancho was the sixth of Minnie Marx's children.

[nuxvomica]

I've never thought about this very seriously, but it would amaze me if parents didn't have a preference. It's surely only human.

I would agree with this.

I would also think that there is a good chance that each parent prefers a different child. And the preferences change.

i grew up with a sibling and my mother did not have favorites, not in a way we'd know or feel. she raised us alone, i wonder whether in a two-parent family it's more likely that each parent would have a (different?) favorite.