94 replies to this topic

[Sneakeater]

I. Lunch

There's a nearly sixty-year-old coffee shop on John Street downtown called the Roxy.

Despite my two stints working down here, I'd never eaten there.

John St. is now being torn up, because of the Fulton Street Subway project. Businesses there are hurting as a result of curtailed access and general unpleasantness. It's been reported that the Roxy might not make it through the summer.

I decided I ought to try it while it's still here.

The Roxy sucks. The food I had ranged from mediocre to noxious. I don't think I ordered wrong. I was sitting at the counter, and everything I saw come off the grill looked horrible.

And, of course, they used all prepackaged processed mass-market ingredients.

The New York nostalgia blogs are already crying over the prospective closing of this place. Now I know they don't care about food quality, but really. I don't wish anyone economic hardship, but what loss is there when a place serving mediocre-to-noxious food closes? It doesn't even look particularly quaint. It's just ugly.

The Roxy is a monument to Bad American Food Culture. Maybe there was a time, more than a century ago, before freezers, processing, artificial preservatives, and fast transportation were invented, when everyday American food was simple, fresh, and good. I can only speak about the 1950s to the present. During most of that time, everyday American food SUCKED. It was indifferently prepared, from indifferent ingredients. The preparers seemed almost actively hostile to forthright vibrant flavors.

I hate the preciousness and pretense associated with the New American Food Culture. And I hate the expense. But ANYTHING you pay for food like I had at lunch today is too much. Thank GOD there are now places that seem to at least pretend to care about serving food that's well made, out of good ingredients, with good and interesting flavors.

This being America, however, the newish places we get in the Financial District mainly pretend to be good, but really serve the same old crap repackaged.

Which to me means that, without buying into any sanctimoniousness (and for God's sake without taking the Mast Bros. seriously), we should be supporting places that sincerely try to be good, not mocking them.

And those people who complain about bad old places closing can go fuck themselves.

[irnscrabblechf52]

i agree with you to some extent, but don't you think it's a little more complicated than 'try to make good food' replaces 'don't care/crappy food'--it seems like the former and the latter each carry separate cultural, political, ideological charges, all of which are in play when someone advocates for one or the other. I also don't think that good food is mutually exclusive with the old school places. over time, the old school places that tend to survive are the ones that start with good food and/or remarkable atmosphere. however, they are the ones that get commercialized, transformed into tourist traps, etc.

[Orik]

They should get Guy Fieri to do an episode there.


Bustling dining room shot, very big people eating what seems like dog food covered in snot. Fieri voiceover: "Next we're off to the big apple, where regulars have been enjoying Joe Roxy's food for 150 years."

Fieri, in kitchen: "So Joe, what are we going to be making today?"

Joe: "Roxy's very own from scratch chili dog."

Fieri: "You make the hot dogs from scratch?" (camera zooms into his look of admiration/disbelief)

Joe: "Sure do. Here, hold on to the end of this here casing." (offers Fieri artificial hot dog casing)

Fieri makes funny faces and random noises.

Joe: "Now we're going to start pumping pink scum, liquid smoke, and our secret ingredient - sausage flavor - into the casing. Make sure to twist every time you hear a click."

Fieri, salivating: "Woof"

Joe: "Now we'll put these on the griddle and make chili."

Fieri: "From??? Scratch???"

Joe: "Yes sir. We dump these 30 lbs of sysco human-consumption grade burger meat, a cup of chili spice mix, a bag of pre shredded onions, and water into the pot, add a bottle of ketchup and boil."

Fieri: "Wow."

...

Fieri bites into huge bun loaded with four hot dogs and a quart of chili. As he chews his look devolves into that of Ozersky biting into a burger. Happy, mildly demented big people in dining room tell cameraman how happy they are.

Credits.

[irnscrabblechf52]

that about covers it haha

[Wilfrid]

Fuck me? Fuck you.

Of course, I think my position is more subtle than that of the nostalgicists. You remind me of how disappointed I was by the "noxious food" (and ambulatory mouse) at the beautiful Lanza's.

Which to me means that, without buying in to any sanctimoniousness (and for God's sake without taking the Mast Bros. seriously), we should be supporting places that try to be good, not mocking them.

Criticism should be constructive where appropriate, I'll go that far with you. Unfortunately, trying to be good is not necessarily inconsistent with (a) failing or (b) talking nonsense about it.

[Sneakeater]

i agree with you to some extent, but don't you think it's a little more complicated than 'try to make good food' replaces 'don't care/crappy food'--it seems like the former and the latter each carry separate cultural, political, ideological charges, all of which are in play when someone advocates for one or the other. I also don't think that good food is mutually exclusive with the old school places. over time, the old school places that tend to survive are the ones that start with good food and/or remarkable atmosphere. however, they are the ones that get commercialized, transformed into tourist traps, etc.

Yes it's more complicated than that.

Where I differ from you -- mainly I guess cuz I'm a bourg -- is that I DON'T CARE if the "better food" movement is some bourgeois affectation. I just care that it's an improvement. The sociopolitical implications can work themselves out after I've eaten.

It's the same way I feel when someone calls something I consider to be a good thing an artifact of Bourgeois Baby-Boomer Liberalism. On the whole, I like Baby Boomer Liberalism -- and even if I didn't, I'd still like things like (attempted) racial equality.

Finally, I know the kind of places you're talking about. But a place like the Roxy isn't an old skool place that was once great (or in any way notable) and survived its quality period to become a tourist trap. It's an establishment that was probably always mediocre but survived because the neighborhood it's in got shoved off the beaten path at some point -- and that's now notable ONLY because it's old.

[Sneakeater]

Fuck me? Fuck you.

Of course, I think my position is more subtle than that of the nostalgicists. You remind me of how disappointed I was by the "noxious food" (and ambulatory mouse) at the beautiful Lanza's.

You won't believe this, but I didn't even remotely have you in mind when I wrote that.

Indeed, as my follow-up post ("II") will show, I fully expected you to agree with me.

[AaronS]

I think it gets easier to swallow if you look at the affectations as necessary marketing.

[Wilfrid]

All the more reason to mock it.

[Wilfrid]

Fuck me? Fuck you.

Of course, I think my position is more subtle than that of the nostalgicists. You remind me of how disappointed I was by the "noxious food" (and ambulatory mouse) at the beautiful Lanza's.

You won't believe this, but I didn't even remotely have you in mind when I wrote that.

Indeed, as my follow-up post ("II") will show, I fully expected you to agree with me.

Oops, I was actually kidding. I know you were taking aim at the Jeremiahs.

[Sneakeater]

Oh, I see. I'm sorry.

You forget how to speak with normal people after spending hours on the phone with clients.

[Orik]

In the Jeremiahs's defense, there are far more blogs devoted to being overenthusiastic about places just because they're new.

[Stone]

Just curious, how much did your lunch cost?

[Sneakeater]

$8 before tip.

[Sneakeater]

But even if you're going to say that $8 is somehow some bargain deserving accomodation (which I'd disagree with -- I could have a perfectly good lunch for that amount at Majestic Pizza or Ho Yip or from the Cheesesteak or the Hero Truck), the point is that we should be figuring out how to have good cheap food for lunch rather than celebrating bad places only because they're cheap.

(OTOH, I think Americans have become hooked on too-cheap food just like they're hooked on too-cheap gas.)