They are getting muddled because "the dishes will come in the order they are ready and are meant to be shared"
So you go (maybe even with Sneakeater) to Guan Fu, which we all think is a pretty good place, and they serve you three huge main courses with or before your cold apps with the result that there's no room on the table and you end up eating cold food, and no benefit. Still it's delicious, and so much food, and who cares.
But then you go to a "the dishes will come in the order they are ready and are meant to be shared" place and the same thing happens except the dishes are normal sized, often really hard to share, and make even less sense together.
And then as mentioned, people get indoctrinated to "the dishes will come in the order they are ready and are meant to be shared" and insist on doing that to themselves in places where you're expected to order your food and maybe share it with your date.
eta: to begin with "in the order that they are ready" implies there is no benefit to you, only to the kitchen. and you say places are getting better at coursing, but in my experience that's luck of the draw and even if there's a responsible adult coursing there's no feedback to the kitchen, so you get your food after it stood around in the kitchen instead of on your table.