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So, if I go around poking people with an erection, I will likely spend the night in jail.

 

 

pessimist. :(

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This whole discussion pisses me off. So, if I go around poking people with an erection, I will likely spend the night in jail. A dolphin does it and they "Close the dophin show early!" Those erectile fully functioning flippers have just figured out how to end a show early when they want to go "play". And it is obviously completely acceptable behavior here at MF- which is actually the way it SHOULD be. I'm just sayin..

Well there's always that doctor featured on South Park who can transform you into a creature that looks like a dolphin. Then you can flip around erect all you like. :(

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This whole discussion pisses me off. So, if I go around poking people with an erection, I will likely spend the night in jail. A dolphin does it and they "Close the dophin show early!" Those erectile fully functioning flippers have just figured out how to end a show early when they want to go "play". And it is obviously completely acceptable behavior here at MF- which is actually the way it SHOULD be. I'm just sayin..

Well there's always that doctor featured on South Park who can transform you into a creature that looks like a dolphin. Then you can flip around erect all you like. :(

 

 

Optimist. :(

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Well, dolphins have nothing on the mighty walrus, who is always erect, just in case he takes a hankering to poke a handy female. His member is practically revered among the native peoples of Alaska, and is put to good use. Not only throughout his life, but even after death, when this long bone, called an "oosik," is turned into items of decorative use, such as knife handles, cribbage boards, etc. Sliced into disks, it is used for various decorative items such as jewelry. I have a pair of oosik earrings. I have noticed though that when I wear them and people ask, "What is that? Ivory or what" and I tell them, "It's walrus penis." the men at the table spend the rest of the evening staring at my earrings with a kind of pained look. Seems to distract them, much like Ben Stiller staring at "Mary's" prominent curl.

 

Many Alaskans have oosiks on display in their homes, and the native people have various beliefs regarding oosiks and their power to bestow sexual prowess on otherwise hapless human males.

 

There is even a famous poem dedicated to the undisputed King of Erections:

 

ODE TO AN OOSIK

 

Strange things have been done in the Midnight Sun,

and the story books are full---

But the strangest tale concerns the male,

magnificent walrus bull!

 

I know it's rude, quite common and crude,

Perhaps it is grossly unkind;

But with first glance at least, this bewhiskered beast,

is as ugly in front as behind.

 

Look once again, take a second look -- then

you'll see he's not ugly or vile --

There's a hint of a grin, in that blubbery chin --

and the eyes have a shy secret smile.

 

How can this be, this clandestine glee

that exudes from the walrus like music?

He knows, there inside, beneath blubber and hide

lies a splendid contrivance -- the Oosik!

 

"Oosik" you say -- and quite well you may,

I'll explain if you keep it between us;

In the simplest truth, though rather uncouth

"Oosik" is, in fact, his penis!

 

Now the size alone of this walrus bone,

would indeed arouse envious thinking --

It is also a fact, documented and backed,

There is never a softening or shrinking!

 

This, then, is why the smile is so sly,

the walrus is rightfully proud.

Though the climate is frigid, the walrus is rigid,

Pray, why, is not man so endowed?

 

Added to this, is a smile you might miss ---

Though the bull is entitled to bow --

The one to out-smile our bull by a mile

is the satisfied walrus cow!

 

(Anonymous)

 

oosik.jpg

 

 

Dolphins can only wish they were so magnificently endowed.

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Dave Navarro.

 

Although he has a tattoo in the middle of his chest with the initials CE.

 

You may now address me as Coco Elizondo!

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Darren Sherman

 

Who's he? Just some dumb bastard who despite trolling an internet dating service, doesn't really understand the cultural ramifications of the global information superhighway. He deserves all the scorn and humiliation coming his way (if this isn't just a put on).

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Some of the discussion is extraordinary. Darren is not alone, it seems:

 

"Ok, even though I think this guy is way out of line, maybe the ladies out there should really, really insist on paying half when you know you never want to see this guy again. Not because of weirdo's like this guy, because maybe it is the right thing to do. An example of this is buying a drink for a girl at a bar. My friend did this, offered a lady a drink, she accepted, talking to him for about 30 seconds and promptly walked away with her drink. He walked up to her and said something along the lines of 'how dare you?! You know as well as I do that that drink isn't really a drink, it's says I like you would you like to talk and get to know each other better. And accepting the drink is accepting this offer.'

 

And you know what he's right. That is what the drink signifies."

 

Sheesh. If you are not prepared to risk rejection, do not approach someone and offer to buy them a drink. He's right about what the drink signifies, but wrong that it guarantees a fulsome response.

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