voyager Posted February 22 Share Posted February 22 MR, I am so sorry to read these. I have no easy balms. Hang in there and know that MFF offers you a forum and group of caring people. Our situation is not at all bleak. All husband's treatments seem to be working as designed with improvements on every test. Side effects have been minimum and one would never know he was having problems to look at him as he continues with all of his normal (absurdly physical) activities. My point to @backyardchef was that moving forward positively with his doctors is the best way to get beyond past transgressions. And to encourage others to listen to their bodies. They feed us subtle information every day that inform us of inconsistencies. Don't ignore it. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
small h Posted February 22 Share Posted February 22 2 hours ago, maison rustique said: Definitely a week from hell. It certainly sounds like it! And you must feel absolutely buried. Sending "hope things improve or at least stabilize" thoughts your way. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
backyardchef Posted February 22 Share Posted February 22 Thank you all so much for the kind and generous words of support and encouragement. My heart goes out to everyone navigating their own medical issues and those of their friends and loved ones. I do feel better finding out this way than after a surprise heart episode in the middle of a busy night of expo or something. I will take the steps needed to change my life as they come to me and suppose my all beef and bacon diet might have run it's course. I have been fortunate that for almost 50 years I had no serious need for doctors and hospitals and trying to overcome my fears. One step at a time. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bloviatrix Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 @backyardchef - if I can offer a piece of advice regarding your anxiety, you might want to consider trying acupuncture. Many years ago I was scheduled for a medical procedure and I was in a dark place with my anxiety. It happened that I had a appointment with my acupuncturist 3 days before the procedure and she worked magic such that my anxiety completely dissapated. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bloviatrix Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 @maison rustique - sending virtual hugs. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sneakeater Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 13 hours ago, maison rustique said: Definitely a week from hell. First of all, the full moon is approaching. Full moons and dementia do not play well together. Husband wandered off during the night and a guy brought him home around 3 am night before last. And he wandered again 3 times yesterday. Last night he screamed and yelled all night because he has to get home to Florida. (NOTE: He hates Florida. Has never lived there. No idea where this has come from.) A few weeks ago my baby sister (My rock.) was discovered to have AFIB. Anything with her heart is worrisome because her mitral valve collapsed and had to be repaired when she was just in her late 30s. She had a cardioversion about 3 weeks ago. Had her follow-up last week and they have scheduled her for ablation in May. But wait, there's more! She got shingles this week. My poor, poor sweet sis. Think I'm done yet? Nope! Heard from my former BIL last night. My sweet ex-husband (We remained friends and he stayed close with my family.) passed away in Boston yesterday. Stick a fork in me. I'm done. Oy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sneakeater Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 Oy oy oy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollywood Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 16 hours ago, maison rustique said: Stick a fork in me. I'm done. You're not toast yet. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maison rustique Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 7 hours ago, hollywood said: You're not toast yet. But I am a bit crusty. Yesterday was the worst ever. Had his daughters call a few times to try to calm him. I don't think my plan of moving into a smaller place before putting him into a facility is going to work. It has gotten too bad. Not sure how it will pan out for me financially to do it this way, but I feel I don't have a choice. If I wind up homeless, so be it. Right now, that sounds better than what I'm going through. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollywood Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 3 hours ago, maison rustique said: But I am a bit crusty. 😄 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maison rustique Posted February 26 Share Posted February 26 It had been building for a few days and yesterday, husband's dementia-fueled rage went into overtime. He became violent and out of control. I called for the neighbors to come over and try to help calm him. He just acted the same toward them. I had no choice but to call 911. They took him to hospital where he is there for "observation" at least for today. Not going to delay, one of his daughters is coming out from San Francisco end of the week. I'll meet with some facilities and am going to have to place him in memory care. I simply do not feel safe and I certainly can't keep him safe. I am hoping beyond hope that the hospital keeps him for longer than a day, but doubt Medicare will allow that. I'll be in touch with our primary care doc today to see if he has any ideas. OTOH, I got better sleep last night with him gone than I've had in over a year. I know stress over the house and money will kick in soon, but am enjoying the peace for now. And to bring in into food, which is our thing here, while I was at the hospital, a friend dropped off a couple of bagged salads and some fresh broccoli. My neighbor saw him and told him, so she took the bag. She added grilled chicken thighs, blackberry dressing, cheese, nuts, onion and various other salad toppings. And a brownie from her bakery-owner daughter. I have the best friends and neighbors ever. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
small h Posted February 26 Share Posted February 26 I'm glad you have some support nearby. What an impossible situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
voyager Posted February 26 Share Posted February 26 Sometimes those decisions we are loathe to make are made for us. Sending all positive thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sneakeater Posted February 26 Share Posted February 26 Yeah, in a perverse way it's good when circumstances force you to do something you should be doing, probably should have done already, but haven't been able to bring yourself to. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bloviatrix Posted February 26 Share Posted February 26 It sounds like you've had an awful couple of days. I'm glad that you have support and people feeding you. We had my mom in memory care for her last year. The people who ran the program were angels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
backyardchef Posted February 28 Share Posted February 28 (edited) My thoughts are with our good friend and Mouthfuls member @Robert Rymarz who was hospitalized last night with an apparent heart attack. His health has been flagging considerably in recent days. He would probably be embarrassed that I am writing this but he isn't here to stop me. For those that don't know, he is a disabled former chef who has spent his post-Cook years raising his children and travelling the country with his family to visit and support chefs of all kinds. It was not unheard of for Robert and Kathy to hop in the car on a moment's notice, drive hundreds or thousands of miles roundtrip (past the point of exhaustion) just to try a slice of pizza and share his love with the team. He has done so much to support and encourage many of our most beloved establishments and chefs that his family has become part of the lore of many kitchens-- including my own. They have been there for me and so many others at multiple critical times and Robert was one of the very first people to ever send me a note when I started cooking professionally to tell me that he saw the passion and aspiration in my cooking and to encourage me to follow it. I wouldn't be the chef or the man that I am without his friendship and that of his family. The testimonials of his children in the link below will break and warm your heart. Admins-- if this violates any rules, please let me know. Rymarz Family's GoFundMe Edited February 28 by backyardchef 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieL Posted February 28 Share Posted February 28 Thank you for letting us know. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maison rustique Posted February 29 Share Posted February 29 Thank you for letting us know. Makes my issues seem minor. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maison rustique Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 Moving the husband into a memory care facility this morning. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
small h Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 I'm sorry. But I hope this will be an improvement for you both, depressing stuff though it may be. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
voyager Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 Safety is a priority, as is stress reduction. Wishing the best for both of you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sneakeater Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 In your heart you know this is for the best. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bloviatrix Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 I know this is such a hard step to take - I remember when we decided to move my mom. But after what you've described you are making the right choice. Wishing you strength. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
voyager Posted July 10 Share Posted July 10 Husband is in UC Neurological ICU after a moderate stroke on Sunday evening. IMHO he is getting superb attention and treatment. He is railing about limitations and restrictions. His mind is good and his speech is intelligible but his left side is severely affected, and the stability of his vitals varies. He is such a "doer" and get things done person, impatient by self-definition, that any obstacle to improvement is himself at this point. It is hard for him to look past today's limitations toward a satisfying future. His "vitals" must be completely stable before PT is viable. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilfrid Posted July 10 Share Posted July 10 Reminds me of my father hospitalized by a heart attack demanding a phone so he could make business calls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.