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Vanessa

The surrealism of everyday life

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We have threads for annoyances and what made us cheerful, but then there's those weird things that happen.....

 

My workplace is particularly fertile ground for the surreal. 2 current examples:

  • At a health & safety meeting this morning the security manager reported that a chef had head-butted a first aid box in the kitchen
  • Earlier in the week a committee gave permission for dodgems on the cricket field for a bar mitzvah in October

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Another:

 

Last Friday evening, cutting across Leicester Square from Chinatown to get to Waterloo, I think to myself: 'no Londoner would ever be in this godforsaken place of a Friday evening', look up, and there are Johnboy and David standing side by side, jaws slack in true tourist-style, staring at the chiming clock thingamybob on the former Swiss Centre.

 

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Another:

 

Last Friday evening, cutting across Leicester Square from Chinatown to get to Waterloo, I think to myself: 'no Londoner would ever be in this godforsaken place of a Friday evening', look up, and there are Johnboy and David standing side by side, jaws slack in true tourist-style, staring at the chiming clock thingamybob on the former Swiss Centre.

 

v

:D :o :D

 

clb

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How's this... today at the office (fairly large site of a majorly HUGE computer software/hardware/services company) a co-worker complained that her lunch has been stolen from the common refrigerator every day for the past week.

 

She is on a strict diet and cannot just go down to the crappy cafeteria like the rest of us to get a crappy salad or crappy sandwich.

 

She is so upset that she was thinking of *poisoning* her lunch tomorrow. I kid you not. I mean, I would be mad if someone took my lunch, sure, but poison the poor sod?

 

I suggested she keep her lunch in her office until the "thief" gets over it. She looked at me like I'm nuts. I mean, she's right I am nuts, but poisoning a colleague? :D

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At a health & safety meeting this morning the security manager reported that a chef had head-butted a first aid box in the kitchen

yeah, so? What's your point?

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At a health & safety meeting this morning the security manager reported that a chef had head-butted a first aid box in the kitchen

yeah, so? What's your point?

So Alpine first aid boxes are all dented? :D

 

I had a problem a while ago with someone helping themselves to my yoghurt (before I decided again that yoghurt isn't really for me) and considered labelling it 'rat poison'.

 

We also have somebody at work with a blue plaster fetish. The poor guy that has to replenish the first aid boxes has replaced at least 500 in the last month :D

 

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Wild-looking guy comes into the office (we're in a storefront, so all manner of strange folk just walk in), asks for DeNiro :D, then for Drew. I tell him neither is available. Guy sits down, tells me he just recovered from open-heart surgery, needs to catch his breath. I run next door to get him some water.

 

Once he recovers, he asks if he can leave something for Drew. Sure, I say. The guy pulls out a sheaf of grubby paper, asks for a staple remover, then asks me to copy about 50 pages. I request a summary instead. He launches into a long rambling story, "to give me the context," the upshot of which is he's trying to start some kind of limo company and has endorsements from (get this) Colin Powell and Condi Rice. Boy, did he wander into the wrong place. I keep interrupting, politely OC OC, to ask what the fuck he wants from us, knowing full well he wants money. Did I mention that I'm all alone with this nut case?

 

Finally, he winds up by saying all he needs is a few million bucks to get going until a) Bush is elected, and good ol' Condi will send him a big fat check or b) Bush loses, in which case he'll get a big fat grant.

 

I manage to get rid of him once he realizes that I don't work for DeNiro.

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I got caught up at the part of the story when he first asks for DiNiro...I'm thinking to myself, Cathy also works for DiNiro? How lucky can one girl get? :D . And then I read the rest of the story. Me (the worrier) hopes you do not get approached by any more nuts, especially when alone.

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Oh, this is one in a series of space cadet visitors. :D There is a buzzer, but it's not well-wired and only works half the time. Fortunately (or not), there are usually a number of loud burly men in the office as well.

 

Thanks for the concern, Leslie dear. And I am SO glad I don't work for DeNiro...

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Thanks for the concern, Leslie dear.  And I am SO glad I don't work for DeNiro...

Uh oh... what's wrong with DiNiro? :D (or does this belong in Clueless questions)? :D

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