flyfish Posted December 31, 2005 Share Posted December 31, 2005 You know how you have to enter the text shown to submit certain information to sites? At GeekTools, where I'm doing a WHOIS, the codeword is "clit." Oh, those crazy Geeks and their science fiction passwords! Fly Quote Link to post Share on other sites
fantasty Posted December 31, 2005 Share Posted December 31, 2005 Overheard at the grocery this evening between A) a slightly disheveled woman, perhaps in her late 60s, who seemed like she might not get out that much, and B) a friendly, pregnant 30-something. They'd never met before. A: Good evening. B: Why hi there! How are you doing? A: I'M DEPRESSED! B: Why are you depressed? A: I'm worried about the next two weeks, and what will happen on November 2! B: Well, no need to be depressed now. Wait and see what happens. Perhaps you'll have no reason to be depressed, so chin up and keep the faith. A: I dunno...I think I'm just going to be depressed. What kind of toilet paper do you use? B (without skipping a beat): Usually Seventh Generation, but sometimes Charmin. A: You know, Scott is The Best, and it's on sale! Only 60 cents a roll, for 1000 sheets! B: Thanks, I'll have a look. A: I'm not sure if you should go ahead and try it. If you don't like it, I don't want you to blame me! I encountered this same slightly loony woman ("A" in the above scenario) again this afternoon. Today she was explaining to the cashier that she likes nice-looking dollar bills. She doesn't care as much about the appearance of fives, tens, and twenties, because, you see, ones are used much more often and are worse for the wear. She inspected each dollar bill handed to her as change, and offered extensive commentary. A couple of them she asked to exchange for better specimens. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Aaron T Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 I encountered this same slightly loony woman ("A" in the above scenario) again this afternoon. Today she was explaining to the cashier that she likes nice-looking dollar bills. She doesn't care as much about the appearance of fives, tens, and twenties, because, you see, ones are used much more often and are worse for the wear. She inspected each dollar bill handed to her as change, and offered extensive commentary. A couple of them she asked to exchange for better specimens. Doesn't everyone care what their currency looks like? Worn or tattered bills are unfit for circulation in the money supply. I get concerned that stores will refuse to accept my ragged bills as acceptable payment hence I am quite particular over all my notes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lovelynugget Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 I found this gut-busting hilarious: D.C. Council member Marion Barry reported to police last night that he was robbed at gunpoint inside his home by youths who had earlier volunteered to help him carry in his groceries. Marion Barry gets robbed I'm sure they were there to 'help with the groceries.' Someone has to deliver the 'powdered sugar' or maybe the 'salad greens'. OK, I'm not too clever with the subtleties: I meant his coke and his weed. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lovelynugget Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Washington Post/Marion Barry Hope this sticks! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Suzanne F Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Finally opened a jar of tomato sauce that Paul brought back from Samara, Russia, last April. All the while I kept thinking how pale it looked, but assumed maybe it was just a different kind of tomato. Anyway, upon opening I found out why it was that color: instead of tomato sauce, it was filled with honey. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GG Mora Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Finally opened a jar of tomato sauce that Paul brought back from Samara, Russia, last April. All the while I kept thinking how pale it looked, but assumed maybe it was just a different kind of tomato. Anyway, upon opening I found out why it was that color: instead of tomato sauce, it was filled with honey. Sweet. ( ) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
fml Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 A honey of a story. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tanabutler Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Don't hit your head on this sign warning you not to hit your head on this sign. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tanabutler Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Woman marries dolphin. A boy named Sue don't have nothing on a dolphin/husband named Cindy. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GG Mora Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Don't hit your head on this sign warning you not to hit your head on this sign. That's so deliciously wierd. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
winesonoma Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 At Amphora winery, Dry Creek Valley, as you enter the underground tasting room there is a duck over the doorway. Some folks get it and some sadly do not. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lovelynugget Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 Headline from the Washington Post: LOHAN HAS ASTHMA ATTACK This is the Washington Post, people! Has journalism sunk to this? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Miguel Gierbolini Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 Headline from the Washington Post: LOHAN HAS ASTHMA ATTACK This is the Washington Post, people! Has journalism sunk to this? It should have been Lohan has "asthma attack." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tanabutler Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Today on Freecycle, someone actually posted this: OFFER: Escargot (Body of e-mail) "An abundance of organically raised, grassfed escargot. Come over some morning and pick 'em off my plants. Free slugs, too." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.