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So why am I paying $82/month for running water and indoor plumbing and $188/month for phone/TV and the new hidef digital TV is a mess of pixel breakup squares and skips in the sound? And the stockmarket is in the 6,000's and 401(K)s have lost half their value. And credit card charges/fees have jumped 100% with no controls for at least another year? What country should I move to?

Probably not Iceland.

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To the lady who lives upstairs from the restaurant:

 

If you're going to get so wasted that you pass out in the shower and flood your apartment, which then begins to flood our restaurant, it is probably best not to respond to the owner pounding on your door to make sure you're OK by running up to him, still naked, and asking him if he'd like to have a drink with you.

 

You are not his type. Also, he is married. Also, your naked wet flailing body got water all over his suit. Also, you don't need any more drinks. Also, he had to shut off the water to the entire building before you finally opened your door.

 

I was not sure what thread to post this in. Surrealism? Hey, Asshole? What Makes You Laugh? I put it here because you annoyed him, and then he annoyed me by relating in detail exactly what you look like naked, including the words "vast" and "bushy." Now, the next time we pass in the street, I will be picturing it. And I really, really, really don't want to.

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To the lady who lives upstairs from the restaurant:

 

If you're going to get so wasted that you pass out in the shower and flood your apartment, which then begins to flood our restaurant, it is probably best not to respond to the owner pounding on your door to make sure you're OK by running up to him, still naked, and asking him if he'd like to have a drink with you.

 

You are not his type. Also, he is married. Also, your naked wet flailing body got water all over his suit. Also, you don't need any more drinks. Also, he had to shut off the water to the entire building before you finally opened your door.

 

I was not sure what thread to post this in. Surrealism? Hey, Asshole? What Makes You Laugh? I put it here because you annoyed him, and then he annoyed me by relating in detail exactly what you look like naked, including the words "vast" and "bushy." Now, the next time we pass in the street, I will be picturing it. And I really, really, really don't want to.

Grant is sending applications to film schools in Chicago.

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Also, I am so fucking sick of the endless craven search for appropriate clothing to wear to work every single night. "I'm working with So-and-So tonight, she's this-and-that, so I have to wear that-or-this." I am sick of the owner giving me the stink-eye because I refuse to wear tights and heels on my feet for 10 hours. I'm going back to being a barista in a shithole, wearing a "Rock Out With Your Cock Out" T-shirt, horrible jeans, and Chucks.

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So why am I paying $82/month for running water and indoor plumbing and $188/month for phone/TV and the new hidef digital TV is a mess of pixel breakup squares and skips in the sound? And the stockmarket is in the 6,000's and 401(K)s have lost half their value. And credit card charges/fees have jumped 100% with no controls for at least another year? What country should I move to?

 

Sounds like you're having a little trouble in the retention department.

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