Jump to content

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 28.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • splinky

    1677

  • hollywood

    1445

  • mongo_jones

    1284

  • Wilfrid1

    1161

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

I went to the DMV to get a learners permit this morning. That was the first annoyance: that although my UK license is perfectly OK for driving in the US (as long as I’m not a resident), it is not suff

My new cowboy boots hurt my feet. I know I have to go through a breaking-in phase, but in the meantime my left pinky toe is cursing at me non-stop.

Being afraid to switch my elderly computer off in case it decides never to boot up properly again   v

Posted Images

Lippy, if you lost them at home this might be worth trying. Draw the shades so that the room is darkened, and shine a flashlight low to the ground, a few inches off the floor at a shallow angle. For some reason that angle makes them easier to spot. Bah, that stinks.

 

I'm familiar with this technique, which I use to find dropped contact lenses. It hasn't turned up the earring. I'm hoping that the bare foot in the middle of night trick will do it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

One of the inmates in my office drinks water from a sports bottle. And she stays plenty hydrated. She is a lovely gal, really lovely, but that suck-suck-sucking sound is driving me out of my mind. It’s not like she’s competing in the Tour de France. Why can’t she use a proper glass or paper cup?

 

On a good day, it's real annoying. On a bad day . . . :ph43r:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Deb -- that drives me nuts! Why not just stick a damned binky in your gob and be done with it?

 

My turn.

Munich population, 1.5 million.

Oktoberfest tourists, 6 million.

It starts tomorrow. Today they're all in the viktualienmarkt, taking photos of the quaint natives doing their grocery shopping. <_<

Link to post
Share on other sites
One of the inmates in my office drinks water from a sports bottle. And she stays plenty hydrated. She is a lovely gal, really lovely, but that suck-suck-sucking sound is driving me out of my mind. It’s not like she’s competing in the Tour de France. Why can’t she use a proper glass or paper cup?

 

On a good day, it's real annoying. On a bad day . . . :ph43r:

You must feel like you have The Simpsons on a loop.

 

And just keep telling yourself that it's better than if she were chewing gum all day.

Link to post
Share on other sites

All right. I'm sorry to be so annoyed today. But this tears it.

 

The building where I work, a LARGE public library, has been undergoing a massive renovation. For the past three and a half goddam years. It was an administrative decision to keep the library open throughout the construction, moving us into different areas in three phases. So far we have moved the entire collection twice, with one more move to go. We have endured jack-hammering, windows smashing down around us, and some pretty terrifying months of asbestos removal. Patron complaints have been steady, long and loud. Ungrateful swine. Not that they are complaining to the feckless, low-bid contractor, mind.

 

And if one more witty old sod walks in the front door and announces that They built the Empire State Building in 18 months, I intend to stob a ballpoint pen into his eye.

 

Magically, in the past six weeks we have seen enormous progress. Not exactly light at the end of the tunnel, but real progress.

 

And I have just been informed that the County, as ineffectual a gaggle of gomers as I have ever seen, has decided to throw the contractor off the job on Monday.

 

After three and half years, they are dumping him Now.

 

 

There has to be something funny in this.

 

 

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
One of the inmates in my office drinks water from a sports bottle. And she stays plenty hydrated. She is a lovely gal, really lovely, but that suck-suck-sucking sound is driving me out of my mind. It’s not like she’s competing in the Tour de France. Why can’t she use a proper glass or paper cup?

Tell her it makes her sound like a cow.

Women hate being compared to cows.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

×
×
  • Create New...