Fear

[maison rustique]

The husband either broke a front tooth or lost a filling. I am taking him to the dentist this morning. Since he has had several violent rages in the past 3 weeks, I'm a nervous wreck about it. Will be his first time to leave the facility. I just hope I can get him back there. They increased his Seroquel beginning of last week and with one exception, it has helped tremendously. I hope I don't project my fear and discomfort onto him. I'll be glad when today is over--my stomach is in knots.

[small h]

Oh, lord. This sounds like what I go through taking the cat to the vet, times 100,000,000.

[maison rustique]

All went fine. They gave him extra meds and he was very calm, but very out of it.

[bloviatrix]

So glad it went fine. Hope you can do something relaxing to ease the day's stress.

[small h]

I'm so glad. I hope it's a while 'til you have to go through this again.

[maison rustique]

Yes, I hope so, too. He actually had lost 2 fillings in front teeth and the dentist said when he was replacing one, another fell out. So, he replaced 3 fillings and smoothed out a crown on a back tooth that had broken. Our dentist is wonderful. He cared for my Mom when she had dementia and he is aware of Don's condition and sensitive to my financial situation with having to pay for memory care.  There was a lot he could have done--made me aware--but said he doesn't think those things are critical and can wait.

 

And, I am meeting friends this afternoon for Happy Hour wine and pizza at a new-ish place here that I've been wanting to visit. It is rare for our little city to get an independent restaurant. We are in the land of crappy chains here. 

[maison rustique]

After ten July 4ths, Lucky the cat suddenly decided last night that he was terrified of fireworks. He is a big burly black cat--usually fearless. He was glued to my ankles last night.

 

And as long as I'm in this thread I'll post this here because I don't know where else to stick it. I went to see my husband day before yesterday--he seemed to be getting sick, but as they kept saying, "the crud" was going around and he was probably getting it. Yesterday I got a call from the facility. They said he had taken yet another really good fall and asked if I would come in right away to meet with them to discuss some treatment options. So, I aborted what I was doing and headed over.

 

When I got there, the RN on duty who had called me was in the lobby. She said he had just tested positive for COVID. Lovely. I wear a mask when I am there, but I always pull it down to give him a hello and goodbye kiss, which I'd done. So, I went in to see the Director and he said they are all very concerned about his rapid decline. He is now falling multiple times a day and getting weaker and weaker. Mentally, he is not my husband anymore. His hallucinations and delusions have completely taken over. Much of that is due to the Ativan but that keeps him from the rages, so they've kept him on it.

 

Long story short, they suggested it was time to put him under hospice care and after discussing what that would mean for his care, I agreed. The hospice folks were there on standby. His caseworker is a woman who also has 2 of the guys that Don sits with in the dining room, so we already know her a bit.

 

We are transferring his primary care to the hospice physician so they can better work on managing his meds. They are already taking him off the Ativan and putting him on haldol to see how that works.

 

I'm putting this in Fear, though it is actually somewhat a relief for me. I feel more like I have someone there to give him a bit more personal attention so I can relax a bit. Especially since I do not plan to go see him until he is over the COVID and it has worked its way out of the facility. I have too much on my back to get sick. Just can't take a chance. I did take a slightly expired COVID test last night and it was negative. I'll keep checking. But I cancelled my plans to celebrate the 4th with friends and stayed home. I did not want to risk getting friends infected.

 

Edited July 5, 2024 by maison rustique
typo

[Evelyn]

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Please do take good care of yourself. If your COVID test is within 6 months of its expiration date, it should be fine. Sit on your deck and enjoy the birds and little bandits (as we call racoons) Let them relax you and give you some joy.

My ex-boyfriend/restaurant partner went through this with his Dad. He was a brilliant man who was very high up in MI6. Your husband's path is eerily familiar. Once his Dad's rages were controlled, he declined quickly. It sounds like the facility you have him at is a good one. I wish him and you godspeed.

[bloviatrix]

The people who work for hospice are literally angels on earth. Your husband is in good hands.

[Sneakeater]

My wife’s transition to hospice care was one of the joyous moments of her life.  

[Wilfrid]

I do have memories of thinking, it’s best for that person they are going. They’re ready.