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I am embarrassed to admit it but I use Yelp. It's coverage is broad and it has handy features like being able to locate nearby bars. That said, the ninny level is much higher than it should be. I'v

Yelp makes Mama Lucia's sound really good.

I saw that but it seemed amateurish. Here at MF we are the Seal Team 6 of ranting.   Come on, play along. Look up 2 of your favorite neighborhood restaurants on Yelp, sort the results by rating, a

Mind you, if a cup of soup and pizza is a celebration, I wonder what she orders on nothing-special days. A bread roll, hold the margerine?

 

No, not a "cup of soup…" but a cup of "...chowder soup". Makes me crazy. Like my friend who always said "salsa sauce"

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Sometimes the worst Yelp reviews aren't 1 stars for good places, they're 5 stars for bad places.

Awhile back I wrote up Malaparte in the West Village. The restaurant looks the part and the waiters are all Italians. The food, OTOH, is woefully bland. A lot of Yelpers seem to confuse the decor with great food.

Two 5 star reviews.

HOLY SHNIKES!!!!

What a find! I go every week thats how good this place is. Lets start off with the BREAD, YUM! Lets move on to the Seared Tuna Avocado Appetizer, holy! Its so good we order 1 each! The Calamari salad is so awesome, its so big! Salads are all great and the STEAK, with parmesan on top, omg. Need i say more? Its amazing! All the waiters speak italian too, BELLISIMO!

 

Place is great, with a warm atmosphere and an experienced and thoughtful staff. Honestly, I've read some reviews that were less than flattering, and I basically think that bitchy, queeny foodies should stay away and leave our fun and tasteful eatery to their betters. If you want something to whine about, go to Africa and then come back to your little fucking village and bitch about McDonalds or something.
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I've noticed that. One of them even uses the word "amazeballs." I don't know whether to laugh or cringe.

 

Recently I've done a search of Eater to see if ThatYelpGirl has any recent posts. Alas, nothing. Perhaps we can summon her up using the Cargo Cult strategy. We can build wicker replicas of cronuts and ramen burgers.

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Did anybody recommend Malaparte to that guy on Chowhound looking for a low-key Italian place?

 

Yes. I disagreed with him on the thread and was motivated enough to cut and paste my negative MF post on CH. I had the detail to back up my opinion. The place looks and feels charming. The food is godawful.

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i wrote a review of that place also.. i will cut and paste mine.. I had the same opinion.. Essentially handsome Italian Waiters, the food is not so good

 

 

 

Brought to you buy the owner of Malatesta. Interesting as the people I was with mentioned the Italian Waitstaff.. They were all wonderful.. The problem is, the entire kitchen staff was not.. I would much rather have Italians in the Kitchen. But this place was definitely designed with a certain purpose.. . The exposed brick walls and the antique scales and other nick nacks set the mood that felt a lot older than a place that has been opened for a couple of years. It's a great idea, have an attractive Italian guy hand you mediocre food. If some runway model handed me a plate of mama celeste pizza bites, well, they would most likely be the best damn pizza bites i ever had. The food, well, the appetizers were much better than any of the entrees I tasted.

We tasted the fennel salad, the sliced artichoke salad, the mussels, and the sausage with polenta cakes.. Everything was good.. The only issue was with the polenta cake and little sausage patties.. Patties were pretty tasteless and dry. Salads were over dressed, nothing stood out. The main courses are where the wheels fell off..

I ordered the cornish hen.. It was pretty scrawny.. They menu mentioned black olives, there was none.. It was covered in this really generic sauce. Strangely enough, my buddy sitting across from me had the same generic sauce on his pork chop, which was very overcooked.. I also tried the two lasagna options they have on their menu.. These were not good.. The lasagna bolognese, I have had better from a frozen microwaved meal .. It was terrible.. The vegetarian lasagna, was covered in this floury improperly made béchamel sauce.. It was so thick, not good. The room is very charming, the entire staff is super nice. The food eh.

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It's funny. There's a handful of 2 star Yelp reviews of that place and most of them say the same thing as we did. Nice environment, meh food.

 

It's sad - a lot of people, maybe even most, have no palate. If the room looks nice and the service is good they think the restaurant is great. They can't tell the difference.

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*snicker* GJ (good job).

 

ETA: Damn IE isn't picking up quotes--I quoted Sneak's take on the original post. Damn IE...got to remember to use Firefox till I get these issues with it vs MFF (the only site that has these issues :unsure:.

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