Lex Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 http://fuckyouyelper.tumblr.com/ looks like the same premise but they ran out of gas. I saw that but it seemed amateurish. Here at MF we are the Seal Team 6 of ranting. Come on, play along. Look up 2 of your favorite neighborhood restaurants on Yelp, sort the results by rating, and see what pops out at the end. 10 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wilfrid Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 Roberta's: BOYCOTT AT ALL COSTS! $82 Steak, Tortured Animals,Small Portions 1. OVERPRICED 2. RUDE STAFF 3. THEY SERVE FOI GRASS ! What kind of sustainable eatery serves food made from tortured ducks? Really unusual. The waitress tried to push the steak on us without letting us know that it's super expensive. When I asked she rudely informed us all that it was $82! $82 for a steak? Unbelievable. $17 for a side of snap peas? Obscene ! Whats more is that you only got 5 Peas split in halves! $17 for a side. You can take that to the bank. The pizzas are $200 each. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
squibble Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 Nevermind. I deleted my entry. I didn't want my post to be misunderstood and it was apparently. I can't risk someone I know thinking I would trash a business that is really good. That wasn't my intention. I thought the person on Yelp was being ridiculous to criticize the place as she did. My head hurts. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 You know the owners and you trashed them publicly for not having soy milk? Did you consider just suggesting to them nicely that they should carry soy milk? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
squibble Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 Stone, you are freaking me out! I would never trash them. The woman on Yelp who calls herself Meg M trashed them. edit: Oh nevermind. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lex Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 The Brindle Room - 2 stars. This review is only for the donut I got. Passed by many times and noticed the sign that mentioned fresh donuts. Decided to stop by since I'm donut obsessed. Felt like an oven once I walked in. The hot air came out from kitchen. Couldn't wait to get out because it was so hot. Ordered the chocolate hazelnut donut. Was disappointed by the size and the taste. Was puny and just tasted like nutella spread on a crunchy cake donut. Nothing special. Perhaps because I'm more of a chewy yeast donut type of gal. Might be back to try the actual food. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TaliesinNYC Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 *hands Lex a hug* I'm almost afraid to see what people rate Hearth and Torrisi. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TaliesinNYC Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 uh.... Hearth -- 1 star I'd heard from a few people that this was a terrific place. It's a beautiful restaurant, well designed, and is owned by the same people that own Terrior wine bar, which I like a lot. Nothing about this place but the look of the restaurant was good. Our entire meal was a disaster. The restaurant was full, yes, but we were with a group of 8 people and it took 30 minutes to order drinks. We decided to order food at the same time because we didn't know when we'd see her again. And we rarely did until the problems started multiplying. Then, while it took an extremely long time to get the food to us (and only two drinks, the second of which we had to beg for), the worst part wasn't the service, it was what came on the plate. Two people ordered the duck. It was undercooked. Quite literally raw. An awful mistake for a cook to make. The cook sent his apologies, offering anything to replace it (or offering to try again...). It was our mistake to say okay, and the two ordered something else. During the next hour, we all finished our meals while the two waited, picking at other people's plates. We tried several times toward the end of that hour to cancel the order, but they kept saying, "No, no, it's almost done. It's coming." At this point the waitstaff was finally attentive--because the restaurant was clearing out. Finally the food came, the two picked at it and left it uneaten. The cherry on this bitter cake was that they charged us for the two duck dishes. Apparently they'd offered a "substitution." There was no attempt to make any financial amends for trying to give us food poisoning and leaving two people at a table for an hour while their friends ate, finished, digested, and had enough time for a jog if they wanted. It was the worst dining experience I've ever had. And the rest of the food? It was mediocre to sub par. Not worth a quarter the price on this expensive menu. Walk a block down 1st to Tree or a block over to 2nd to Cacao e Pepe for better food and better service at half the price. To which I'd say, "You ordered wrong." Blue Hill Stone Barns -- one star EMPEROR'S NEW FOOD: a culinary tale We cook quite a bit, grow our own food, and really love to try new places, so when we received a gift certificate to Blue Hill at Stone Barns, we were very curious about this place so many people have recommended. Yelp is full of raves, but of course we tried to keep an open mind, and not get our expectations up too high. After spending about 15 minutes on hold for a reservation (where we were repeatedly told to dress appropriately during the automatic message), we were able to get a reservation. The tasting menu for the pre-Valentines Day weekend was on offer. There is a huge staff. Each course is served by a different person. They are all really nice. Each course is elaborately presented. We decided to also have the wine pairings. The first course was a few home-made crackers served on one of those things used to arrange flowers - the crackers looked like they were on a bed of nails. Little did we know that this would be a sign of food to come. The crackers were accompanied by a dab of "lardo" which tasted like Crisco, and a crumbled mystery meat that reminded me a bit of cat food. There was also a bit of (maybe?) ricotta and a few other dabs of things spread across a piece of slate. The second course was one kumamoto oyster (my favorite oyster in the whole world) in a watery citrus puddle with edamame. This blasphemy was dappled with caviar which literally swam in the puddle. It was amazing to eat one of my favorite foods and for the first time realize why people do not like oysters. There was one plate with a single scallop which had, I think, some crumbled bacon, but really just as tasteless as everything else we had eaten so far. There was a ceramic dish shaped like an egg carton with a poached egg and little dabs of bacon (okay, this was not so bad....but who doesn't love eggs and bacon?). There was a course of dried out balls of turkey served with a truffle goo. The really decent wine (an Italian Barolo) made me a bit more lighthearted, but by the time we got to the meat course, squares of dry meat, swimming in a nouvelle-y presentation of CHICK PEAS(!), I was sickened about this meal and the accompanying hype. Even with the $150.00 gift certificate, we still paid over $650.00 for this meal for two. I kept thinking about meals at Jean Georges (priced lower). Or even closer to Westchester, such as the Kelley brothers and their good-quality restaurants like Freelance in Piermont, or Matt Hudson's place in Nyack, the Hudson House. People turning out good-quality, good value food without the enormous wait staff. I also kept thinking how amazing it is that people come back to this place. The two brief moments of respite during this meal were the Barolo (one glass in the wine tasting), and the bread and butter. The bread was amazing! Really memorable. When I asked about the bread, they said it was from Balthazar. My office is across the street from Balthazar, so I should have known, but wow. Really, just wow. The bread was the best thing on this menu and they had it ordered in. I recommend going to Balthazar and eating their bread, and not doing what we did which was pay an extraordinary amount of money for the culinary equivalent to the story of the Emperor's New Clothes. Makes me wonder what planet I live on. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Eatmywords Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 Nothing spl, I just liked how he spelled bellissimo: Momma Lucia, Bronx – 4 stars My Wednesday afternoon. Thanks to a mix of poor judgement and day drinking @ Paddy's on the Bay, I missed the bus I intended to use. So I find myself a little hungry and in need of aqua. Step into Mamma Lucia's and I'm taken back into a world of Frank Sinatra & deliciously large portions of Italian food. I'll be back most definitely. Bennissimo! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 Makes me wonder what planet I live on. Mordor? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TaliesinNYC Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 Makes me wonder what planet I live on. Mordor? Well, there's a view that Middle-Earth is our own planet at some time in the very distant past. And Mordor is a country, silly. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lex Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 Minetta Tavern, 1 star. This is unquestionably the most overrated restaurant I've been to in years. Firstly, it's too crowded, too loud. I can't imagine that it meets building code for safety and that's before we get to the food. We ordered the $104 Cote de Boeuf for 2, their signature dish. When it first was brought out, it was raw. When we questioned the waitress, rather than being apologetic, she said that that was what they considered medium rare. When it came back the second time, it was overcooked. We questioned her again and she basically said that was what we asked for. It was full of fat and grizzle, tough and about as good as my local diner. How the New York Times could say this was the best piece of meat in NY can only suggest a critic that is looking for something from the owner. Another 1 star - The door people were quite nice, but they put in the front room, instead of the dining room, even though we made a reservation. After we said something, they sat us in the dining room. Then, we got the wrong server. My friend and I felt like she discriminated against us. She treated expensively-clad clients with enthusiasm but was cold to us. If you don't like fat, skip the $90 dry-aged steak. This steak for two was really a steak for one, after the slabs of fat are cut out. It was one third fat, enormous slabs of it. Someone should have informed us about this when we ordered, because this is an unusual style. In most restaurants, steaks come rather lean. This steak was juicy, but far too greasy. The bone marrow on the side was not seasoned well, so it tasted greasy as well. I've already cut away most of the fatty slabs, but still became a bit nauseous towards the end, because of the rapid fat intake. After we complained to the manager about the food, the server did offer us dessert on the house. Since we couldn't bare to see food anymore, we asked for a digestive drink. But no one ever came back, so we left. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Daisy Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 There is a certain sort of person, and I class my former mother-in-law as one, who enters a restaurant with chip firmly fixed on shoulder, almost expecting to be dissed or disappointed. Applies to those Yelpers at Minetta as well methinks. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 I think that last comment was from hcbk0702. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Eatmywords Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 Bone marrow tastes greasy when it’s not seasoned. Rapid fat intake Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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