The Worst of Yelp

[Eatmywords]

Yelp makes Mama Lucia's sound really good.

We had some memorable meals there. They made/make fresh spaghetti and fettuccini which you don’t see too much. Good white clam sc, snapper livornaise, veal sorrentino, fried calamari galama, red pepper chick pea anti with large airy slices of sesame Italian bread to start and byo. What’s not to like?

 

I’m surprised nobody on Yelp mentioned the real fun was the staff behavior. Its never full but they’d get a 3 or 4 table pop with a takeout or two and all hell would break lose. You’ve never seen a place fall in the weeds so fast. The son managed the floor. Very gracious and friendly until he went into the kitchen. He’d call out working orders and scream his head off when things didn’t seem to be moving fast enough. I guess nobody ever told him the dining room could hear everything. More likely he couldn’t give a rat’s. “Hefe, you got 3 orders of bake clams working?” “No boss, sola dos” “Where’s the dupe?” “No se’. “Facia di stronzo, where’s the dupe!?” His little old Italian father, the pizza man, would tell him to calm down and stop yelling. “Don’t tell me to calm down pa, this is my fucking place, how I feed my family, my sweat and blood...”. “Calm down, no one is going to starve”. They’d switch to all Italian then Italian English, English Spanish. What a treat.

 

The patrons, locals sort of having a special night out, might scan the room with raised eyebrows but I never witnessed a complaint. We’d snicker at our table at how indifferent they behaved along with the floor staff. One busboy had a constant smile that grew wider as the shouting rose. This too amused me tremendously. I imagine everyone, especially the tri-staters,had a place like this.

[Sneakeater]

Everything in Canada is uphill both ways. It's a tremendous review on a number of levels. Here's another world champion (these are way too easy to find): a review of the hairy arms of the gentleman sitting behind her at Jean Georges.

 

I had really looked forward to this restaurant, having seen such great reviews on yelp and also word of mouth.

 

We were on time but they were not. They offered for us to sit in the foyer or stand at the bar while the previous sitting finished their dessert.

 

It did pick up, the food was fantastic. Our waiter was reasonably attentive despite not being around when I actually needed him.

 

However...

Our party of 2 were seated at an area back to back to another table. And whilst in the beginning it was most enjoyable, the hairy arm of the gentleman behind us resting on the back of the adjoining encroached my personal space significantly, to the point it was almost brushing my hair.

 

I flagged down the water man, and pointed out my concern. He stated he will sort it out and understands my discomfort. Nothing was done. I then tried to flag down the waitress for the area, who motioned for me to wait while she waited on the table of concern. She then went back to the kitchen, attended about 3 other tables, but did not come to attend us at any point,

 

When the hairy arm almost brushed my neck (despite me moving away) - I raised my concerns this time with our waiter, and was only taken seriously when I asked to speak with the manager. I was prepared to leave the table at that point, scene or no scene.

 

Our waiter offered for a table move, which was appreciated, however, they omitted to give us new napkins, did not help us into our chairs, and generally did not display attention to detail and service worthy of michelin stars, let alone 3.

 

Very disappointed, and would certainly not go back again. The 2 stars are ONLY for the food and not for the dining experience.

 

I can hear the thought process "food, five stars, hairy arm, zero stars, overall restaurant experience, two stars". Who will make the more difficult move of posting raves of great places that are nonetheless terrible?

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHV2n4o6J2I&feature=related

 

(You can stop at 3:25)

[Sneakeater]

His little old Italian father, the pizza man, would tell him to calm down and stop yelling. “Don’t tell me to calm down pa, this is my fucking place, how I feed my family, my sweat and blood...”. “Calm down, no one is going to starve”. They’d switch to all Italian then Italian English, English Spanish. What a treat.

 

I'd pay extra for this.

[Eatmywords]

Next time I'm in Atlanta:

 

K&K Soul Food - 5 stars

 

What a charming neighborhood! It features the Rice Streek County Jail just down the dirt gravel road over yonder and Sista's Chicken Wangs located just a stone throw away across the streek.

 

The neighborhood boasts dirt gravel roads, tumbleweeds, and toothless prostitution whores named Propecia.

 

The food however, is prepared by Propecia's church-lovin, God-fearin mother, Vanettta....and praise the Lawd for it, the food here is surrounded by the white light of the Holy Spirik !! Praise Him!

 

I had the ox-tails, mac & cheese, and green beans. The ox tails were plump and plentiful. The mac and cheese was more like a custard...in a good way. The green beans were most likely from a can but that's okay, I don't really like fresh green beans anyhow!

 

The only criticism I have is that I had to pay extra to have rice with my oxtails or else the rice would have counted as one of my sides..booo! I was definitely full after consuming my meal but that was with the added side order of the rice, perhaps had I gotten one of those massive turkey wings I'd have nothing to bitch about besides the tumbleweeds/prostitutes named Propecia.

[Lex]

Otto, part 1. All one star reviews.

 

cambridge y.:

 

One of the most horrific experiences I've had in a restaurant. I honestly don't understand why this place was so packed.

My impressions (and I will NOT be going back there) are:

- the food is mediocre - stale anchovies, not that fresh of a salad, bland pasta

- service is absolutely horrible

- we had a truly maniac waiter -- he was either drunk or acting like it

- very disorganized staff

- we were overcharged close to $100 on wine ("oh! sorry!" was the answer)

- restaurant is very loud -- when we complained, we were just told 'no, can't do anything'

- it was freezing in there! -- when we complained, we were told our spot in the restaurant was a cold one, and that they couldn't do anything (again)

- disgusting toilets

 

 

Steven S.:

 

If you're dazzled by such things, they do have a 3-4 page wine menu. I guess they really want you to drink from their expensive curated collection, because they'll be out of business if they have to rely on sober assessments of their pizza for very long. I'm willing to wager that a third of them aren't in stock at any given time. Better off bringing your own $5 bottle, anyway. You're a liar if you think you can really tell the difference between one wine and another. A LIAR.

 

 

Bethany G.:

 

I was hoping for a memorable evening, since we were celebrating a friend's 30th bday. It was memorable -- just not in a good way. The food? Yum. The service? Yuck. Our reservation was for 7:15, and we didn't get sat until 8. Otto servers are often hands-off, but ours was inattentive bordering on rude. We had to flag her down for everything (and several times she walked right past us). When I mentioned that the 4 of us were celebrating a 30th birthday, she barely looked up from pouring our wine to say a half-hearted, "happy birthday."

 

When we asked for balsamic vinegar with our bread, she said, "We only use red wine vinegar." We were confused, since one of the pizzas we ordered was the BALSAMIC onion and goat cheese pizza. When our pizzas came, we pointed that out, and she explained that the balsamic vinegar in the kitchen is too expensive to put on the table and most of the balsamic vinegar you get in Italian restaurants isn't real. That would have been a better explanation than "We don't have any," which was obviously untrue. After dinner, our wine glasses sat empty for 10 minutes -- until one of the managers came over to check on us. We would have ordered a 3rd bottle but at that point we were too frustrated.

 

[Lex]

Otto, part 2. All one star reviews.

 

Jo K.:

 

what is with this place? is everyone crazy? i think this was the worst place i've ever eaten in NYC. everything was so tasteless.. sad little limp salad, microwaved pastas, soggy pizza..

 

Abigail S.:

 

I can't imagine why anyone would ever go to Otto more than once. We went in a group of 10 for a friend's birthday and it was nightmarish. Our waitress was surly and inattentive, forcing us to ask bus boys to track her down on our behalf while we waited, thirsty and hungry, for our order to be taken. The food was forgettable at best. My pasta dish (linguine alla carreteria) was bland and boring, like something you'd get on a cruise, or maybe on the menu at some chain "Italian" restaurant like Olive Garden or Macaroni Grill. Every dish I tasted was similarly boring and unsatisfying.

 

Moxie L.:

 

I've been here twice and twice it has sucked.

 

The pizza is just ok. The pasta is ridiculously "al dente" as in it's crunchy and according to the waitstaff, that is how it is served. So bring a jackhammer.

 

 

Meagan B.:

 

This was the worst dining experience I've had in a very long time, and by far the worst service I've had since moving to new york city. It was not very busy at all but for some reason our waitress couldn't be bothered to stop by our table to take our order for fifteen minutes. I ordered Pasta alla Norma and it was so al dente it was still crunchy and to the point of being inedible. When I informed the waitress she rudely told me that's the way they make it, as if she didn't believe it was made poorly. I ended up having to send it back and didn't have time to wait for another dish to be made. My boyfriend had the bucatini alla gricia, and while it was oversalted it wasn't awful. That is until he had to immediately return home to use the restroom. Not. good. With so many great Italian restaurants in the neighborhood I'm astonished this place is still open.

 

 

JP C.:

 

I like babies and puppies but I don't like this place.

 

A few items were very good (the bread, the olive oil for dipping). One was just OK (the watermelon and cucumber salad). One was below average (the margarita pizza. AND ONE WAS SO DISGUSTING I HAD TO SPIT IT OUT! (the pepperoni pizza)

 

My margarita pizza was below average. The sauce was too sweet and the crust was burnt. Disappointing after all the good reviews I had read, but I was really hungry so I ate it.

 

My friend's pepperoni pizza looked disgusting. Little did I know that it looked BETTER than it TASTED! The pepperoni was a strange color, dark, dark brown, almost black. Closer to coffee color than normal pepperoni. The edges of each slice were curled up, so they formed little bowels which each had a pool of grease. Ugh. He ate about 1/4 of it and then gave up. I asked for a taste and it was the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted. (seriously). It was THAT BAD! I did not know what to do. I could not swallow this. I was gagging so I spit it out (not something I normally do).

 

I asked my friend if he liked it and he said, "No, not at all."

"Well, why did you eat it?"

"I have not had breakfast or lunch. I was ravenous and desperate. But I can't stand another bite. It is too gross"

 

The staff was indifferent to all of this. One thinks they might have noticed the food was not eaten and asked why, but they didn't.

 

The bill comes. $50 for a really awful lunch. Not even with drinks!

[Stone]

Otto, part 2. All one star reviews.

 

Jo K.:

 

what is with this place? is everyone crazy? i think this was the worst place i've ever eaten in NYC. everything was so tasteless.. sad little limp salad, microwaved pastas, soggy pizza..

 

Abigail S.:

 

I can't imagine why anyone would ever go to Otto more than once. We went in a group of 10 for a friend's birthday and it was nightmarish. Our waitress was surly and inattentive, forcing us to ask bus boys to track her down on our behalf while we waited, thirsty and hungry, for our order to be taken. The food was forgettable at best. My pasta dish (linguine alla carreteria) was bland and boring, like something you'd get on a cruise, or maybe on the menu at some chain "Italian" restaurant like Olive Garden or Macaroni Grill. Every dish I tasted was similarly boring and unsatisfying.

 

Moxie L.:

 

I've been here twice and twice it has sucked.

 

The pizza is just ok. The pasta is ridiculously "al dente" as in it's crunchy and according to the waitstaff, that is how it is served. So bring a jackhammer.

 

 

Meagan B.:

 

This was the worst dining experience I've had in a very long time, and by far the worst service I've had since moving to new york city. It was not very busy at all but for some reason our waitress couldn't be bothered to stop by our table to take our order for fifteen minutes. I ordered Pasta alla Norma and it was so al dente it was still crunchy and to the point of being inedible. When I informed the waitress she rudely told me that's the way they make it, as if she didn't believe it was made poorly. I ended up having to send it back and didn't have time to wait for another dish to be made. My boyfriend had the bucatini alla gricia, and while it was oversalted it wasn't awful. That is until he had to immediately return home to use the restroom. Not. good. With so many great Italian restaurants in the neighborhood I'm astonished this place is still open.

 

 

JP C.:

 

I like babies and puppies but I don't like this place.

 

A few items were very good (the bread, the olive oil for dipping). One was just OK (the watermelon and cucumber salad). One was below average (the margarita pizza. AND ONE WAS SO DISGUSTING I HAD TO SPIT IT OUT! (the pepperoni pizza)

 

My margarita pizza was below average. The sauce was too sweet and the crust was burnt. Disappointing after all the good reviews I had read, but I was really hungry so I ate it.

 

My friend's pepperoni pizza looked disgusting. Little did I know that it looked BETTER than it TASTED! The pepperoni was a strange color, dark, dark brown, almost black. Closer to coffee color than normal pepperoni. The edges of each slice were curled up, so they formed little bowels which each had a pool of grease. Ugh. He ate about 1/4 of it and then gave up. I asked for a taste and it was the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted. (seriously). It was THAT BAD! I did not know what to do. I could not swallow this. I was gagging so I spit it out (not something I normally do).

 

I asked my friend if he liked it and he said, "No, not at all."

"Well, why did you eat it?"

"I have not had breakfast or lunch. I was ravenous and desperate. But I can't stand another bite. It is too gross"

 

The staff was indifferent to all of this. One thinks they might have noticed the food was not eaten and asked why, but they didn't.

 

The bill comes. $50 for a really awful lunch. Not even with drinks!

I don't understand. What's wrong with these reviews? This is pretty much what you all were saying about Otto when it opened (and you weren't arguing about the proper pronunciation).

[Lex]

I don't understand. What's wrong with these reviews? This is pretty much what you all were saying about Otto when it opened (and you were arguing about the proper pronunciation).

So is the pasta boring and mushy or way too salty and al dente? Which is it? Because it can't be both.

 

And that pepperoni pie. I can understand if someone didn't like it but "disgusting"? Oops, let me quote her correctly -

SO DISGUSTING I HAD TO SPIT IT OUT!

[Adrian]

There is something to be said for reviews that are accurate in their assessment (not judging Otto here) but still absolutely off their rocker.

[TaliesinNYC]

hey, some of us liked Otto from the very beginning.

 

the back room on the other hand is an training exercise if you want to go deaf at an early age. hence why I prefer to sit at the bar.

[GG Mora]

And that pepperoni pie. I can understand if someone didn't like it but "disgusting"? Oops, let me quote her correctly -

SO DISGUSTING I HAD TO SPIT IT OUT!

Must have been those little grease-filled bowels.

[Lex]

the back room on the other hand is an training exercise if you want to go deaf at an early age. hence why I prefer to sit at the bar.

Yes, it can be really loud. That said, this comment struck me as especially nutty -

 

restaurant is very loud -- when we complained, we were just told 'no, can't do anything'

 

I can just see that waiter now, running around all over that vast back room shushing people.

[Wilfrid]

This thread is helping me understand the perspective of London's "rudest landlord," who was heard to describe customers as "a fucking nuisance."

 

[FoodDabbler]

This thread is helping me understand what's wrong with Mouthfuls.

[Lex]

This thread is helping me understand what's wrong with Mouthfuls.

Interesting. You implied your dissatisfaction with the site once before. Again, I invite you to be specific.