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I am embarrassed to admit it but I use Yelp. It's coverage is broad and it has handy features like being able to locate nearby bars. That said, the ninny level is much higher than it should be. I'v

Yelp makes Mama Lucia's sound really good.

I saw that but it seemed amateurish. Here at MF we are the Seal Team 6 of ranting.   Come on, play along. Look up 2 of your favorite neighborhood restaurants on Yelp, sort the results by rating, a

  • 1 month later...

The NY Times notices that some Yelpers have unrealistic expectations.

 

We used to understand that convenience comes at a price. The food you get at McDonald’s or Burger King is not meant to be a major culinary event. But now the chains, perhaps in response to customers hopped up on Food Network shows, have gone upscale. McDonald’s plans a $1 billion, Starbucks-like makeover of its restaurants, and Burger King has Whopper Bar restaurants. With the new frills come new expectations. After visiting a McDonald’s in San Diego, a Yelp contributor, “Caroline B.,” wrote:

 

“The Gelato was some of the worst I have ever had in my entire life. The ‘Watermelon’ looks like pink colored wall putty and had no discernible flavor of fruit of any kind. No one in our group was able to stomach it. I actually threw it away.”

 

She went on to say that she was no fan of the restrooms. Not because they were dirty. Because of their “faux marble and faux flowers.”

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  • 2 weeks later...

Isa 1 stars.

 

In love with their ice program:

Pros : Fantastic Ice Cubes, Beautiful Atmosphere, Nice Bartender, Excellent Bread & Butter, Terrific Broth

 

Cons : Extremely Limited Menu, Strict Ordering Rules, Bland Fatty Over Priced Pork, Small Portions (table still needing to eat bread after meal was finished), Uncomfortably Cold Temperature, Bland Over Priced Cod

 

Hungry but still hot looking -

I was disappointed by this restaurant. The serving size was so paltry, and I am not someone who requires large portions in order to be satisfied. What's more the taste of the food was mediocre at best. And to top it off, the presentation of the dishes was less than impressive. We paid $8 for a small slice of cheese, which essentially epitomizes the experience. We walked out of there $80 poorer and still ravishing. If you are still in the mood to see/experience it get a drink. Their bar menu/experience is pleasant.

 

Didn't have to eat the food to award 1 star. Multiple explanation points are the spoor of the true ninny. -

Don't bother!!!!!! They seem to want to be anything but a restaurant. I asked to see a menu and than asked what type of cuisine are you? The guy replied why don't you eat here and you will find out!!!!! From what my friends say it's a rip off and it's never busy or open.
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Katz's deli. All 1 stars. -

Dude, seriously, why the heck is this place so popular? I'm not one for touristy spots, but when I finally got around to eating a meal here the service was terrible (they forgot my order) and they handed me a warmed up cheeseburger that had been sitting underneath the counter (I didn't have the money for their uber-expensive deli sandwiches).

 

Seriously, there are a LOT of good places to eat in New York. This place is not one of them. Over-rated and over-priced.

Pastrami Sandwich:

Eh. I'm not a big fan of it. I don't understand all of the hype. It was pretty disgusting and I couldn't even take more than a few bites. I ended up trashing it 'cause that's where it belongs.

 

As a vegan, I stay the hell away from this joint; one time in my pre-vegan days I got the knoblewurst ("knoble-" is garlic) and was amazed at how impossible it was to digest.
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  • 6 months later...

Crown Victoria in Williamsburg. 1 star.

 

Do not go here, you will get treated like shit. I went here for a friends birthday party and will never go back. We ordered two pitchers of the house beer, which turned out to taste pretty gross. Knowing that my brother had spent about $50 bucks for them, I went back to the bar just to see if there was any way to replace the two with a cheaper beer that the people would like better. If that wasn't possible, no big deal, we'd just deal with our pitchers. It was early, so there wasnt much of a crowd.

 

I ended up asking the manager, a shorter, balding irishman, who promptly FREAKED out at me for suggesting such a thing. He continued to belittle and berate me to the point of tears. Then he told me I was sensitive. Mind you, it wasn't all that busy yet, and I was totally sober.

 

When my friend who works in hotel food and beverage management saw the state I was in, he tried to go reason with the guy to no avail. Forget about getting any pitchers, now it was about an apology or at least a little respect. The manager, whose name starts with P? (I can't be sure, he refused to tell me his name) pretty much spat in his face.

 

It is shameful that a bar like crown victoria is operating under management that has no regard for customer service or human decency, for that matter. Shame on them.

 

So lets sum up. Your brother ordered 2 pitchers of beer. You didn't like how it tasted and asked them to pour the beer down the drain and give you something else. The manager then reduced you to tears and then spat in the face of your friend.

 

What a reasonable request.

 

Sure. I'll bet it happened just like that.

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As a vegan, I stay the hell away from this joint; one time in my pre-vegan days I got the knoblewurst ("knoble-" is garlic) and was amazed at how impossible it was to digest.

 

Back in my single days, I went out with two women. I was trying to impress one of them, but was also willing to impress the other if that didn't work.

 

As it was their first time in New York, I took them to Katz's.

 

One turned out to be vegetarian, the other - as should have been obvious - a non-cow-consuming Sikh.

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Written about WilliamsBurger, the perfectly fine burger place.

 

One star. Because they wouldn't let her break the law.

I have previously enjoyed their food and I was really excited when I saw they were putting tables outside for the summer because I have two very small dogs and I love that I get to take them places with me when it is warm out.

I tried to eat there today at 2:30 pm when there were only 3 other customers in the whole place and the man who was working was a COMPLETE JERK. I was OUTSIDE way from everyone else who was there and he said the dogs couldn't be at the table (on the ground) with me. That I had to time them up next to the street. No. Way. No other restaurant has ever requested this. I wanted to scream at him, but instead just decided that I will never eat there again.

 

Thanks Jerks. Dumont Burger is better for 501 reasons now.

 

Another 1 star.

this place was disgusting. seriously...the fries were $%^ gross. microwaved!

the burger was raw ( i ordered medium rare) the fries...OMG hard in the middle, no flavor. hamburger had no flavor. no wonder there were NO PEOPLE in there! what a waste of 50 bucks! dont waste your time or money on this trendy little name in a trendy little spot with the worst burgers in the freakin country! even the cocktail was watered down. we know what kind of person owns this place a GREEDY ONE!

 

ill never go back. it sucked worse than any restaurant i have been too - ever in my life.

 

I am wondering how Mr. Gourmet managed to spend $50 at a place selling $8 burgers and $5 beers. Wait. I've got it. He made it all up.

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One final 1 star for WilliamsBurger. Miss Serious, who gives new meaning to redundancy. How many ways can she convey her charge that the burger was underdone? Seven. Srsly.

 

Unless you enjoy raw ground beef with a little tiny bit of cheese, don't go here. This place sucks, and I do mean it. McDonalds makes this place look bad.

 

Um, music selection is awful. Sirius Music, ALT NATION. srsly? um. wait, srsly?

 

$12 for my burger, my undercooked burger that I order medium. I specifically said "MEDIUM". I took one bite and the blood oozed down my finger and pooled on my plate. one bite. ONE BITE. wait, didn't i order medium? ugh, the dave matthews band blarred. SRSLY, GUYS, ALT NATION IS YOUR SELECTION? i wanna vomit and i'm not sure why. is it my medium burger or the awful music taste? i had to go up, the waitress never came back.

 

EXCUSE ME, CAN YOU MAYBE THROW THE RAW MEAT YOU GAVE ME ON THE GRILL FOR A SECOND SO I DON'T GET E-COLI?

 

they were rude to me about it. wtf. i asked for medium. why was that confusing. srsly.

 

well they eventually brought it back, it was hot and it was medium, as i originally asked. but they were rude to me in the first place about it. well they effed it up in the first place, and in the second place, they never came back, and in the third place i had to go to them, and in the fourth place, they were rude to me, even though i was nice to them (and they'd already effed up about it twice), and then they gave it back and it was finally what i'd asked for originally.

 

for a burger place to misunderstand "medium", it seems absurd.

 

well, i will never go back.

 

yes you got my $12 for the disgusting burger, the $1.50 for the two onion rings you gave to me, which were cold by the time you got my "medium" burger right, and the $1 for my ranch dressing. congratulations. you will never get another penny from me, and i will only bad mouth you to every person i know cause srsly, you suck. i'd rather eat mcdonalds. vom.

 

and of course to top the ridiculous experience off, they can't split a bill. .... well they could if they had at least one brain cell between them, but they don't so they can't figure it out. well hopefully their ridiculousness will make it easy on them and they'll get out of the food business cause they're pretty awful at it.

 

unless you like e-coli, bad service, and inconvenient pay methods, i highly recommend against eating at williamsburger. it sucks. nothing about it is redeeming. location is bad, burgers are bad, they can't even split an effing check. screw this place.

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I just noticed this thread on Friday.. So, I am reading gothamist today when I see a very funny thing about professional actors reading yelp reviews.. Even funnier thing happen when I noticed one of my really good friends had participated in the readings..

 

Here she is

 

here is the first one, more funny than the above one..

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