Hey, Asshole!

[Liza]

Please, people - enough with the postings about you-know-who.

Stop now. Thank you.

[Chad Ward]

Please, people - enough with the postings about you-know-who.

Stop now. Thank you.

 

Lord Voldemort?

[robert40]

If this post breaks any guidelines please delete. I rarely discuss issues that straddle any line and am not always aware of were it is in the sand "Guidelines".

 

Something really pisses me off in our society. And it's not just reserved to political figures. It applies to most celebrities and those in the public eye with some type of power.

Why is it expected that wives must stand by their husbands side regardless of his actions? Males will never equate sex with love. It is a genetic flaw similar to male pattern baldness. ( My opinion of course)

But what are we telling are young daughters? Whatever poor judgement your spouse takes you need to stand by his right side? Bullshit! It belittles women and dulls the consequences of the actions of men. It sets the precedent that betrayal will ultimately be forgiven. And believe me men sense it.

 

Just my yearly rant.

 

[omnivorette]

I'm sure nobody held a gun to Silda Wall's head. She made the decision to stand there next to her husband, and it's her right to do so if that's the choice she made. She's not responsible for all the women in the world.

[robert40]

Absolutely agree! It was her decision but that's my point. Our society expects it, which must influence that decision in some wives. I think that expectation put on women is wrong.

[Wilfrid1]

I agree with Robert on this one. It seems an unnecessary humiliation, even if it's self-humiliation.

[omnivorette]

I just don't think it's fair to place all of "society's" burden on women at the feet of one woman. She's doing what makes sense for her, for reasons we may never know or understand. It's not her job to set an example (or not). It's her job to do what she needs to do for herself and for her family. And it's her business.

 

 

[Wilfrid1]

And there's a pressure to conform to a template, the appropriateness of which I think one can question. I think the template is the issue rather than Mrs Spitzer's free will.

[Ron Johnson]

Married people cheat and they stay together. It works both ways. Not every instance of infidelity requires the offended spouse to abandon the relationship. Some folks are a little more forgiving of imperfection.

 

 

[Deb Van D]

I'm not sure that it is a matter of expectation. It is rather a choice made, in difficult circumstances, to go with things as they are for the time being. You're in shock, denial and you have a family to consider.

 

I think it was an observation made last night by Jack Cafferty, quoting somebody else, that his wife wouldn't be standing by his side. She would be standing over his bleeding body asking, "How do I re-load this thing?"

 

More harshly, when you are in a position of privilege or power you don't let go of that so easily. When things shake out you might come to a different decision. The luminous presence that was Jim McGreevey's wife changed pretty dramatically, for example.

[omnivorette]

But is the template just an accumulation of the personal decisions of individual women?

[Daisy]

But is the template just an accumulation of the personal decisions of individual women?

There is most definitely a template and it has been built by accretion. I can't link to it for some reason, but last night Gawker had a piece showing various scandal-touched politicians with their wives 'standing by' them and pointing out the startling similarity in what these women were wearing. That may sound shallow but so much of current public life is about presentation through the media that I think it should not be dismissed so lightly and of course as the piece also points out there seems to be a conformity of behavior as well as dress expected from these women.

[robert40]

I just don't think it's fair to place all of "society's" burden on women at the feet of one woman. She's doing what makes sense for her, for reasons we may never know or understand. It's not her job to set an example (or not). It's her job to do what she needs to do for herself and for her family. And it's her business.

She is only one example. I can point out everything from sports figures to those in Hollywood. But its a never ending tidal wave of expectations. The stand by your man is first. Then the women must be the rock holding the family together is the next faze. I'm just saying there must be a time when society won't have the attitude that men will be men.

 

Also let me clarify my position. I never said or believe all marriages should end do to infidelity. But I do think if a man decides to walk in that field he should walk back and not burden the innocent.

[splinky]

But is the template just an accumulation of the personal decisions of individual women?

There is most definitely a template and it has been built by accretion. I can't link to it for some reason, but last night Gawker had a piece showing various scandal-touched politicians with their wives 'standing by' them and pointing out the startling similarity in what these women were wearing. That may sound shallow but so much of current public life is about presentation through the media that I think it should not be dismissed so lightly and of course as the piece also points out there seems to be a conformity of behavior as well as dress expected from these women.

there are PR experts in this area who are consulted on the presentation. i'm not kidding

[Daisy]

But of course.