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Sometimes in life, you come across a situation, and you just want to yell, "Hey! Asshole!"   And not just when reading food boards.   I'm on an airplane and there's this gunner-kid next to me.

Yeah, the "Mister Asshole to you" was a dead giveaway. That's why I'm wondering why I ever thought otherwise. I better get the testosterone detector on my DSL checked.

Hey Asshole!   Cover your mouth when you cough repeatedly while sitting/standing/exercising near me. Thank you.

Hey Asshole!

 

Cover your mouth when you cough repeatedly while sitting/standing/exercising near me. Thank you.

and while you're about it flush the goddamned urinal when you're done--or let me know where you live so that my friends and i can come and urinate and defecate all over your toilets.

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And one more Hey! Asshole! -- When you get in the door of the subway -- don't stop there!  There are 20 people behind you who also want to get to work.

I've started elbowing the people who stand in the door as I (and a hundred other folks) are trying to get out. I know I'm pushing my luck but no repercussions so far.

My new thing is to push by them quite, shall we say, firmly(I'm almost 6", I don't need elbows :D ), at the same time, saying, quite politely, but clearly, "Excuse me, Excuse me, Excuse me, Excuse me....."

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In my car at a crosswalk waiting to turn until the stream of people crossing the street in front of me relents, the car behind blows the horn relentlessly, as if to say, "why don't you just run over that women with the stroller? How dare you keep me waiting here." I usually then sit there until the light changes and, at the last minute, go through it leaving the blower there in a fit of rage.

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i think the thing to do is to strike back. if you can puke on demand do it--on him. at least drop your drink on his blackberry. pick your nose and wipe it on the seat divider. fart a lot (comes easier to some of us) or at least make farting noises. read the manifesto of the egullet society for the culinary arts and letters out loud (doing voices the whole time). whatever it takes.

 

i will say though that i've heard the reverse as well--that the risk from wireless communications on planes is wildly overblown. anyone have any actual science they want to throw in?

I must visit more often. I was wiping the tears from my eyes from the laughter.

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Fuck'em Stone. I say snitch. What better way to get revenge and stop the asshole.

Take it out of your hands and give it to a person in charge (i.e. Sky Babe) and let her bring down the hammer. Best thing she could have done is take away his toys and make him sit with hands folded till the end of the flight. :D

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Take it out of your hands and give it to a person in charge (i.e. Sky Babe) and let her bring down the hammer. Best thing she could have done is take away his toys and make him sit with hands folded till the end of the flight. :D

Are Catholic nuns now working as flight attendants?

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