Rail Paul Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 NJ.com has a sampling of "first date" restaurants in NJ. Putting aside for a moment whether people even have first dates, or simply "hang together" more often, here it goes. Haven't couples put aside the old, sexist, patriarchal model of the man paying? Razza in Jersey City Agricola in Princeton Osteria Morini in Bernardsville Pig & Prince in Montclair Pilsener Haus in Hoboken and several more One thing these places have in common is they aren't cheap. Dinner for two at Pig & Prince, with cocktails and wine will be $200. Less at Morini, and a little less than that at Razza. I'd guess that Pilsener Haus is probably the cheapest place on the list. http://www.nj.com/inside-jersey/index.ssf/2014/10/30_best_meals_2014_jerseys_top_first-date_restaurants.html#incart_related_stories 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Meredith380 Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 My first date with my now husband was at Leo's Grandevous in Hoboken at my suggestion. I had been living in Hoboken for years, and he just moved from California and I thought some genuine non pretentious NJ Italian food would be fun. 10 months later we were engaged. (At Rods in the Parlous Cars. I worked there for years and we got married at the Madison, so it was a wise and private choice on his part.) I would NEVER recommend Pilsner Haus as a first date restaurant, especially with all the options in Hoboken. It's communal seating, loud as hell, the food is hardly going to lead to a sweet good night kiss and it's a meat market. ETA- he made it clear he wanted to pay and take me out, so I purposely picked a moderately priced place that I felt gave a real Hoboken experience. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
E.L.A. Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 Always a popular "list" -- like 'em or not, LOL. Everyone has their own likes, dislikes, tastes, etc. -- so agreement will not be common. Thanks for posting it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Meredith380 Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Always a popular "list" -- like 'em or not, LOL. Everyone has their own likes, dislikes, tastes, etc. -- so agreement will not be common. Thanks for posting it. Sorry but there is no way with all the meat market bars and restaurants in Hoboken that Pilsner Haus belongs on that list. The beefy bouncers alone don't make for a proper date. I would never date anyone who took me there. I would have much preferred the Gaslight when it was still around or even the bar in the Hoboken terminal. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sneakeater Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Yeah, Meredith tells us all this now that it's too late. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LiquidNY Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Haven't couples put aside the old, sexist, patriarchal model of the man paying? No. Most women still expect men to pay and that's not changing any time soon. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Meredith380 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Haven't couples put aside the old, sexist, patriarchal model of the man paying? No. Most women still expect men to pay and that's not changing any time soon. I'm going to disagree here. When I was single I wanted to maintain a sense of independence. I used to actually pay tabs while dates were in the restroom. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Meredith380 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Yeah, Meredith tells us all this now that it's too late. Oh but is it ever too late? You could take me out to dinner any time Quote Link to post Share on other sites
prasantrin Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 A lot of men expect to pay and prefer to. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
E.L.A. Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 A lot of men expect to pay and prefer to. I agree. I've had first dates where women offer, want to, and very much want to "contribute" and even pay, given the circumstances. I always refuse and mean no offense whatsoever. I refuse, and I prefer and insist on paying. Even with "equality" and independence, and whatever else related -- I pay. I tend to have a vision of my father appearing out of nowhere and smacking me, LOL. That said, sometimes the "dating" tone, in my opinion, has become a bit too pretentious, but that's another story. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
prasantrin Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 But someimes women really want to pay. I was raised to believe if I extend an invitation, then I am the hostess and I pay whether than invitation be in my home (I provide the food and beverages without charge to my guests) or outside (I pay for restaurant meals, movie/performance tickets, etc). It's a little insulting when I invite a man out and he insists on paying, especially when it's for his birthday and I want to do something special for him. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rail Paul Posted November 9, 2014 Author Share Posted November 9, 2014 But someimes women really want to pay. I was raised to believe if I extend an invitation, then I am the hostess and I pay whether than invitation be in my home (I provide the food and beverages without charge to my guests) or outside (I pay for restaurant meals, movie/performance tickets, etc). It's a little insulting when I invite a man out and he insists on paying, especially when it's for his birthday and I want to do something special for him. That's an excellent example of how the environment has changed in the past few years. When I was dating, millennia ago, it would be very, very unusual for a woman to even offer to pay. It was expected that the guy would pay. Even when the woman had a good job, and I was still a grad student. That's absolutely changed, and for the better. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
prasantrin Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 But back in the day, I think it was also unusual for women to extend invitations. My stance on paying stands no matter the gender. If I extend a formal invitation ("I'd like to invite you to dinner," as opposed to just saying, "Let's get together next week") I am paying, whether you are a man or a woman. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
E.L.A. Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 But someimes women really want to pay. I was raised to believe if I extend an invitation, then I am the hostess and I pay whether than invitation be in my home (I provide the food and beverages without charge to my guests) or outside (I pay for restaurant meals, movie/performance tickets, etc). It's a little insulting when I invite a man out and he insists on paying, especially when it's for his birthday and I want to do something special for him. Yes, I agree, given the circumstances. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
E.L.A. Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 But someimes women really want to pay. I was raised to believe if I extend an invitation, then I am the hostess and I pay whether than invitation be in my home (I provide the food and beverages without charge to my guests) or outside (I pay for restaurant meals, movie/performance tickets, etc). It's a little insulting when I invite a man out and he insists on paying, especially when it's for his birthday and I want to do something special for him. That's an excellent example of how the environment has changed in the past few years. When I was dating, millennia ago, it would be very, very unusual for a woman to even offer to pay. It was expected that the guy would pay. Even when the woman had a good job, and I was still a grad student. That's absolutely changed, and for the better. Agreed. Thanks. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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