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"First Date" restaurants in NJ


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NJ.com has a sampling of "first date" restaurants in NJ. Putting aside for a moment whether people even have first dates, or simply "hang together" more often, here it goes. Haven't couples put aside

Sometimes I give money, but if I want to give a gift, I send it to the bride or couple or couple before the wedding.   I do not have an engagement ring* and didn't even really get a proposal. We so

It seems to me there are two issues in play here. One is the senimental value represented by the ring, the public committment of two people to a life together, the other is the asset value of the ring

Oddly, the women I take out never offer to pay.

I think the closest I've ever had a date offer to pay was maybe a half-hearted reach for her wallet. A highly publicized study came out last year that confirms there has been little progress on the "who pays for dinner" issue. Link here.

 

Consistent with conventional norms, most men (84 percent) and women (58 percent) reported that men pay for most expenses, even after dating for a while.

Sounds like somebody's lying. :D

 

Emphasis not mine:

Many women (39 percent) wished men would reject their offers to pay, and 44 percent of women were bothered when men expected women to help pay.

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I'm going to disagree here. When I was single I wanted to maintain a sense of independence. I used to actually pay tabs while dates were in the restroom.

Who do you think should pay for an engagement ring? (Why do we even still have engagement rings anyway?)

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I'm going to disagree here. When I was single I wanted to maintain a sense of independence. I used to actually pay tabs while dates were in the restroom.

Who do you think should pay for an engagement ring? (Why do we even still have engagement rings anyway?)

 

 

Funny story. This afternoon, I was in Caldwell (NJ) coming out of the paper store. I was behind a young M/F couple on the sidewalk. He was walking a small dog.

 

The woman dropped back a few paces, so I slowed down, too. She gazed into a wedding dress shop window, then hurried up to join her companion, who was now 20-30 feet ahead.

 

Dee noticed this as well.

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I'm going to disagree here. When I was single I wanted to maintain a sense of independence. I used to actually pay tabs while dates were in the restroom.

 

Who do you think should pay for an engagement ring? (Why do we even still have engagement rings anyway?)

It depends on how much the dowry is.

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I'm going to disagree here. When I was single I wanted to maintain a sense of independence. I used to actually pay tabs while dates were in the restroom.

Who do you think should pay for an engagement ring? (Why do we even still have engagement rings anyway?)

 

It depends on how much the dowry is.

 

You can't provide an answer?

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I'm going to disagree here. When I was single I wanted to maintain a sense of independence. I used to actually pay tabs while dates were in the restroom.

Who do you think should pay for an engagement ring? (Why do we even still have engagement rings anyway?)

 

It depends on how much the dowry is.

 

You can't provide an answer?

 

 

A lot of women claim to be feminists, or at least independent, yet they still expect all the trappings of a "proper" proposal/engagement/wedding/reception. They still expect the man to propose extravagently (or at least romantically), and to be given a ring with a large diamond (or similar), and they expect engagement parties, wedding showers, receptions with multi-course meals and DJ or live band. And don't forget the hundreds or thousands of dollars spent on the perfect white wedding dress that will only be worn once (and sometimes another dress for the reception, too).

 

Of my female acquaintances, a lot of them, especially the younger ones, are more prepared to work on the wedding than the marriage. I'd rather spend all that money on pre-marital counselling and maybe some vacations, but I'm older and have a different frame of reference. Paying for dinner once in a while is just a token for most women.

 

But in my experience, a lot of men fall into the trap of gender stereotypes, too.

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I don't fault women for wanting that stuff (I certainly wouldn't mind someone buying me dinner once in a while, or buying me a diamond ring :D), but they have to admit that it's a double standard, and since this one works in their favor they allow it to persist.

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A survey asked 2,144 respondents why they rejected a marriage proposal. The top five reasons:

 

1. Unromantic proposal setting: 67 percent

2. Poor ring choice: 53 percent

3. Bad wording of the proposal: 51 percent

4. Lack of trust in the relationship: 39 percent

5. Scared of the commitment: 36 percent

 

Additionally, 39 percent said that the rejected proposal had occurred in public [snip]; the average number of people who regularly witnessed these public rejections was 35 per proposal.

Respondents were also asked to identify whether the reason for the rejection was the proposal itself, rather than the actual relationship; those who did peg the failure on the proposal specifically were then asked, “Would the proposal have been more acceptable to you if it had been more expensive e.g. a more expensive ring or setting?” 74 percent said they would have been more likely to accept the proposal if their partner had spent more money on it

Ah, priorities. :D

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That's pretty appalling. And I believe that anyone who proposes in public is insane.

 

ETA: My poor sister once walked into the bar of a very traditional and upscale Manhattan restaurant where an insane (by my lights) fellow who was a regular in the joint had persuaded the management to hang a banner containing his proposal to her over the bar.

 

PS She did not say yes.

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And then there are the "Will you marry me?"s on scoreboards at basketball (and I presume other) games. Not as awful as Daisy's even though much more public, in that a much smaller proportion of the other people would know the couple. But still one of the worst ways to ask. That certainly tells the proposee where the proposer's true focus lies.

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And then there are the "Will you marry me?"s on scoreboards at basketball (and I presume other) games. Not as awful as Daisy's even though much more public, in that a much smaller proportion of the other people would know the couple. But still one of the worst ways to ask. That certainly tells the proposee where the proposer's true focus lies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWOCzJmYtgU

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I'm going to disagree here. When I was single I wanted to maintain a sense of independence. I used to actually pay tabs while dates were in the restroom.

Who do you think should pay for an engagement ring? (Why do we even still have engagement rings anyway?)
It depends on how much the dowry is.
You can't provide an answer?

It completely depends on the couple and their financial situation and what makes sense for them. There isn't a universal answer.

 

And being single and paying for dates occasionally (especially when I learned over the course of the meal that I wasn't particularly interested in the man I was out with) is a lot different than making decisions when your finances may already be combined, disclosed and or shared and deciding if making a major purchase makes sense.

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It completely depends on the couple and their financial situation and what makes sense for them. There isn't a universal answer.

There is no financial sense at all in buying a diamond engagement ring, and considering the groom gets no utility out of it, I don't see why he should contribute anything to the cost.

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