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This made me laugh


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Thanks! We decided we can get divorced if we feel like it, 'cause we've already had a pretty good run.

No plans to do this at the moment, though. And I feel exactly the same. H is still calling me his fiancée, also, so maybe it takes a few days to sink in.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Rewriting Neil Diamond songs for my own entertainment this morning.

I'm Fred, I said.

And people asked, didn't you used to be called Neil?

I'd like some bread.

With butter if that's not too much to ask.

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An older Jewish couple is going to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary by having sex. They are naked in bed and Harry says hang on, I need to pee. He comes back and then his wife Harriet says hang on, I now need to pee. Harriet starts screaming from the bathroom, “Harry, you left the seat up and I’m now stuck in the toilet naked.” Harry feverishly tries to get her out but can’t. He finally calls 911. Harriet says “what am I supposed to do, the EMT’s are coming and I’m stuck in the toilet naked.” Harry says “cover up your breasts with your arms and put my yarmulke by your private parts.” The EMT’s arrive and assess the situation. The EMT says to Harry, “ I think we can save your wife but the rabbi is a goner.” 

 

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Kid's school supply list included a white paper 2-pocket folder. No white ones were available. So we decided to buy a blue one and write on it "This is a white folder." If curious to hear how his teacher will react. If it's meant for art class, I know it will be appreaciated.

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1 hour ago, bloviatrix said:

Kid's school supply list included a white paper 2-pocket folder. No white ones were available. So we decided to buy a blue one and write on it "This is a white folder." If curious to hear how his teacher will react. If it's meant for art class, I know it will be appreaciated.

color is a social construct

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