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Liza

New York Times

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Saying the New York Times is just a newspaper, is like saying the Grand Canyon is:

 

1. A large hole in the ground

2. David Gest's pet name for the other Liza

3. Not as good as Le Canyon Grande

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Saying that the New York Times is not, well, the New York Times is like:

 

1. Defying gravity.

2. Sticking your tongue on a frozen metal pole.

3. Not reading the New York Times much.

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Saying the New York Times is just a newspaper is like saying that:

 

Martha Stewart is just a shareholder

 

Jayson Blair is a just an exagerator

 

Mel Gibson is just an anti-semite.

 

Thank goodness for home delivery . . .

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I read it to find out what's happening on the web, because I don't have a computer.

 

Signed,

 

Specky Four Eyes, the Unimaginative Stereotype

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If not for home delivery of the New York Times I would be waiting around all day for it with nothing to read.

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The blue bag starts my day. If only he would throw it closer to the door so I don't have to model my pj's for the neighbors!

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You can "go out" to buy the Times? Are you sure that's safe? I mean, things are moving fast out there, and I wouldn't leave the house without a huge newspaper under my arm.

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The blue bag starts my day. If only he would throw it closer to the door so I don't have to model my pj's for the neighbors!

Know what you mean. On a bad day I have to wedge open the door with a clog and limp down the stoop to whatever step it's landed on.

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On Sundays, we catch up on what we really love. He checks out the lingerie ads in the magazine; I make papier maché mobiles out of the Arts & Leisure section.

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It's now called "The Need to Know New York Times." Really. :(

 

"We're not ready for Monday unless we've read it on Sunday. If we haven't, we go straight back to Friday and start the weekend again. Or skip to Tuesday."

 

Metaphysically speaking:

 

"There is the New York Times, and then there's everything else."

 

How true that is. "There is the snail at the bottom of my garden, and then there's everything else."

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On Sunday mornings, we like to get fully decked out in our Patagonia and North Face all-weather gear, pile into our well-equipped SUV and drive aggressively along the golf-course studded lanes in our gated community. A scant 45 minutes later finds us in our preferred upscale shopping center where we can find ample parking in the 65 acre asphalt lot that rings our local Starbucks, or we can avail ourselves to the convenience of the drive-thru window service. Pulling into line behind no fewer than 40 other similarly equipped all-wheel drive, 12 passenger vehicles with more than 500 horsepower, we bask comfortably in our individualized climate control zones. Upon realizing our turn at the menu, we order non-fat, vanilla, sugar free, caramel, iced double venti lattes with no foam and of course a Sunday New York Times.

 

Home delivery is simply a creature comfort that this active couple doesn't require!

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What committee of clueless apparatchiks was responsible for the recent redesign of their website?

 

You get a few headlines, then a vast lonesome area devoted to on-line video. (If I wanted video, I'd go to CNN.) Then a big fat section called Inside Nytimes.com which looks like it highlights the pet projects of the editorial staff. Today we have a big profile of Jennifer Anniston and a giant plug for the new Times sports magazine called "Play." The lead article in Play is about the 2006 World Cup, a surefire way to pack in a a mass American audience. I guess the chess tournament season is in hiatus.

 

After scrolling down further we finally get to the news sections. Sort of. The genius web designers have settled on a serpentine design which runs from top to bottom and then from left to right, like a standard column of newsprint. That works for a story because I want to read it in sequence. It is pure stupidity for a web page layout because things like the Arts and Technology sections appear before the New York news.

 

I guarantee you that they thought this layout up without ever once testing on an actual member of the public.

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I don't get it at all. Where is the link that says "Continued on page C4?"

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